ShatteredSoul's Journal-O-Rama

It's about that time again

It seems as though another summer has come and gone. I just got done having basically 2 weeks of vacation. In that time off, i've had the opportunity to reflect and think about days past. Just kidding, I squandered all of that time and did absolutely nothing. I must say, it was pretty fucking awexome.

Since January, Winter was really fucking cold. Like really really cold. My birthday was in February, and I can't really tell you what happened in March, April or May. Chapman came back home in June and he stayed at my house for a week. We fucked around, drank, watched Michael Jackson die and called for a Hoveround catalog and free dvd after we saw the commercial during the Price is Right.

On more thing I want to mention is exactly how fucking gay the arcade game Michael Jackson's Moonwalker is. Chapman and I destroyed this game on my Dew MAME system the night MJ died. Let me tell you, the premise of this game is to save a bunch of kids (yeah, really). When you do save kids, they are usually in corners on the game field, and when you walk in front of them, it looks like they are going down on the dead king of pop. Furthermore, bubbles the monkey makes cameos and turns you into a maniac child molesting robot, and there are robot enemies that have giant penis-like objects that fly out and try to hit you. I wont even mention the random dance sequences that kill enemies after they dance with you.

In July, Boonsey got married and 2 weeks later Turkey followed. I never want to wear a tuxedo again. So if I am your friend and you plan on getting married, you have 2 options.

1) Don't ask me to be in your wedding.
2) Don't wear tuxedos for your wedding.

Danny riding me around at his reception

Back to work again to close out the year I guess. Going to WEC in Ohio in a few weeks and then to a Bills game. After that though, all bets are off.

Help control the pet population, go fuck yourselves!
See you in another year probably, god i'm lazy.

Stew

and in case you missed it, I recorded a Chapman drunk dial on my cell and made this video.

2008, The year in review

Hey fuckers! I'm totally still alive. I am also pretty sure that divine intervention has something to do with that.

So here is what happened this year:

Gas went to outrageous prices
Gas went down to affordable
Drunken Grandmother died
Mom passed out at the bar, and i blew up a gigantic picture of it and gave it to her for xmas
Got a new vehicle
Had some cocktails
MMA kicked ass
I won and bought cool arcade games
And thats about it.... weeeee!

Enough of this 2008 shit, its time for bigger and better things

Peace,

Stew

After all, anything is possible

The Sun Shines On A Dog's Ass

Hey, Summer came and went. It stayed cold most of the time. I bought an air conditioner and used it about two times. Oh well, theres always next summer. I'm still here by myself. Nobody wants to move in apparently. Oh well, I kinda enjoy being alone here anyways. Doing what you want as an adult is way better than doing what you want as a kid.

Something pretty badass happened to me a few months back. You know those wacky color caps you see on pop bottles. well the GREEN ones were from Mountain Dew. Underneath those caps is a wacky code containing letters and numbers. So if you go to this even wackier website, you enter those wacky codes and can get chances to play these "games". Basically you pick a prize and see if you get lucky. Typically it shows a little animation saying "TRY AGAIN". Well, I got this....

which meant that I won this....

Needless to say, I was quite stoked to win for several reasons. Such as:
1) It is basically a new computer
2) It is worth 3 grand
3) It comes with like 300 games preinstalled
4) I can put any arcade game ever on it
5) Its fucking awexome
6) This is my 4th arcade game

Wait, Fourth you ask? Oh yeah, i got the following on the 4th of July. How fitting:

So basically its now Gunz and Ammo at my house now. All the video games you can stand without puking!

Oh yes, other news

My drunken grandmother died a few weeks ago. I'd be broken up, except for the fact that she got me a paint by number kit for Christmas when I was 13. That, and she had a shot liver and diabetes (wilford brimley anyone?) and refused to change her life due to her circumstances. That, I cant really respect. Especially considering she never worked a day in her life and only wanted to see you when she needed help with something or needed something fixed. Oh well. Riddance Goodness

I got rid of my truck last week and actually played it kind of smart this time. Oh, I stll want another mustang, but figured I'd like to live through another winter, so I got one of these bad boys:

All wheel drive, Bitches. Behold, the Chevy Equinox

Other than that shit, i've just been working, so its the same ol bullshit every day.

Have some random shit:

This still makes me laugh:

Quote of the night: "Embrace change. Don't battle it"

Song of the night:

Later, Skanks

Stew

Sometimes lightning does strike

Niagara Falls, Representin'

Where I have been

Hi, im still alive. which is unfortunate for some of you reading. But until they find a way to get rid of me, thats the way it'll be. Sometimes its more fun to use pictures and videos to tell the story of where ive been.

And we're off! Yeah, this makes cents

This was the most disgusting thing I've ever seen

Have some Deep Fried OEREOs in Nunda!

The Dark Knight comes out in a few weeks. Until then, I'm BATMAN!

and speaking of superheroes, here is the incredible HULK... masturbating in walmart....

Its good to be King!

And some of us go bowling and break things.

There are few things better than this!

I'm outta here, hopefully i will update before the next millenium.
take care of you and yours,

Stew

i love hockey and western new york

Song of the Journal:

Revolution man

Revolution Man

The Fiddle and the Drum

Did you miss me?

I started my new job at the ARC and its pretty good so far. Most of the consumers are pretty cool and its an interesting job. And first and foremost i can be myself and wear my own clothes. The hours right now i dont particularly agree with but we can work on that in time. I get insurance and dental soon and ima get these fucking wisdom teeth out. Maybe i wont be so goddamn miserable all the time. Then again, maybe not. The almost one month of vacation time a year is a pretty sweet job perk too.

Ervys memorial service was about a month ago. They buried his ashes on top of his grandmothers grave in Ransomville. It was a pretty decent way to send him out i guess. Hopefully his father can put the booze behind him for awhile because im 100 percent sure mom is going to move now. She hounded me forever to get some of my shit out of there so i finally did. My old room looks nothing like it did when i left over a year ago, its kinda eerie.

Checked out a few concerts recently. The first of which was the Heaven and Hell tour. Heaven and hell is basically black sabbath without ozzy, whom is replaced by DIO! They toured as black sabbath in the 80s with dio so why they are called heaven and hell is beyond me. Either way, alice cooper was the opener for them and he ruled, although he looks to be a thousand years old.

A week ago today, we saw FUCKING MEGADETH in buffalo and that concert kicked some serious ass. Man, is megadeth underrated. Dave Mustaine could be the best fucking guitarist ever. The venue was pretty cool having 3 or so tiers. We got on the floor for megadeth and moved our way upfront. We were about 4 rows of people back and before megadeth came on, a bunch of canadians tried moving in front of us. Jeff and I didnt play that shit at all, so they started talking to us wanting to be our pals eh. So as soon as megadeth starts its bedlam and these canadians try pushing their way forward. At one point, i gave jeff the glance and counted down from 3 and we bowled all 8 or so of these fucking canadians over. It was wicked funny and at that point i got almost next to the barrier. we said fuck it, we wanna watch megadeth and battling canadians and other idiots became stale after about six minutes. So we assumed or normal positions just outside of the mosh pits where we can throw some more fucking morons around. Either way, what a great fucking show. And they left a whole bunch of other shit in the can. They coulda played so much more.

Been hanging out with a little bit of a different crowd lately and its cool. I like the way some of the relationships are going. We shall see what happens. This is good i suppose, in that i can put some lingering stuff behind me.

There is a tremendous chance ill have a different ride between now and when i update this thing again. And if i have my way, i might go big with it. Other than that, things are going good. I really cant complain too much. Not that i really do anyways.

Have some random shit:

Quote of the Night: "Come to my afterparty, drinks are on the house.... if someone buy you one!" - Rampage Jackson

Movie of the night: I cant remember if i included this in the last entry but fucking SUPERBAD was ridiculously funny. Get out to see it or wait, i dont care... i love this movie. The grindhouse flicks are coming out (death proof is out on dvd) and Planet Terror is due to drop soon. So checkem out.

Song of the Night: "Zombie Eaters" - Ill Nino w/Chino Moreno (Faith No More cover)

"Zombie Eaters"

[Faith No More cover]

You're everything
That's why I cling to you
When I emerge
My thoughts converge to you
To you

The world is so small
Compared to you
And everybody's wrong
Compared to you
To you

I begin to see through your eyes
All the former mysteries are no surprise
So now, you listen
Cuz I'm omniscient

Hey look at me lady
I'm just a little baby
You're lucky to have me
I'm cute and sweet as candy

As charming as a fable
I'm innocent and disabled
So hug me and kiss me
Then wipe my butt and piss me

I hope you never leave
Cuz who would hear me scream?
Nobody understands
Except the toys in my hands

So now you listen
Cuz I'm omniscient

Hey look at me lady
I'm just a little baby
If I smile, then you smile
Then I'll get mad for awhile

I melt in your mouth
And in your hands whenever I can
But I really do nothing
Except kickin' and fussin'

I like to make a mess
I laugh at your distress
I sit all day in my crib
Absorbing all you give

I'm helpless
I'm flawless
I'm a machine

Give me
I need my toys

Keep me hot
Keep me strong
Keep me everlong

So now you listen
Cuz I'm omniscient

let me know how you are doing,

Stew

Picture of the night: The Guitar Legend

Word travels fast

Ervin W. Seefeldt III
Age 19, of Hardys Rd., Gainesville, NY died July 15th, 2007 unexpectedly at home

He was born June 9, 1988 in Niagara Falls, NY son of Ervin Seefeldt, Jr. and Karen Stewart-Seefeldt. He was employed as a farm worker for Shearing Farms in Gainesville. He was an avid hunter and fisherman and enjoyed working on the farm and stock car racing.

Surviving along with his parents are his infant daughter Hailey Seefeldt of Silver Springs, NY; 3 Step Brothers, Jerad (Janielle) Stewart of Romulus, Shawn Stewart of Warsaw, Kyle Stewart of Ransomville; his paternal grandfather Edward "Jerry" Chamberlain of Ransomville; his maternal grandparents, Richard and Lois Stake of North Tonawanda; aunts and uncle, Barbara Williams of Ransomville, Marian and Ward DeLude of Silver Springs, Lana Kraft of Town of Tonawanda, Audrey Hart of Town of Tonawanda; his cousins David Williams of Olcott, Donna Palm of Lockport and several extended family members.

There are no calling hours. A memorial service will be held at a later date. Arrangements were completed by Robinson & Hackemer Funeral Home, Warsaw.

This was my step brother, and "died unexpectedly" equates to him putting a high caliber rifle into his mouth and pulling the trigger. I got a phone call that morning from my mom whom was in Pennsylvania for a family reunion. She told me to get to her house. There wasn't another family member but me within 200 miles. It was a mess and although i never did walk upstairs to see him, I saw his blood splattered suicide note scrawled on an old envelope. That was enough to see for me without permanently damaging myself.

I think I am still the only family member to see the actual note. He pulled the trigger over a fucking woman. The mother of his child. She has to live with that on her conscience till the end of time, somehow I find some solace in that. And while some might say (even me) that he did what he did under his own volition thats true. But to put things bluntly yea he did it, but she was the reason

When you are young and unexperienced in such fields, sometimes women don't realize what effect their typical womanly crap has over your male partner. When shit goes south (usually for a fucking stupid reason) maybe you should think of the effect it has upon the other person instead of thinking only about your own fucking selves. This doesn't apply to every female, but I suggest you take a look at the bigger picture in making such whore induced decisions.

poor kid, ill miss you sneaking around and stealing my shit. Hope you are better off... but I doubt you are.

Moving on

Things haven't gone as smoothly as possible since i've been back. but I am still breathing. With all of the above shit happening, it is really a weird time for me. Erv and I have motherfucked one another for years but I cant help but feel sorry for the guy right now. Mom is still mom but that spark she has is just flickering at this point. Just things that only time can heal I guess.

I met one of my comedic heroes a few weeks ago, Jim Norton! Met him at a book signing for his book "Happy Endings: Tales of a Meaty Breasted Zilch" Real funny guy, check out some of his stand up.

Not all bad things have happened, I have been having a bit of fun. The other day I bought a coin operated Breathalyzer machine, like they carry in some bars. Which is wicked neat. Below you will find some videos of us messing around with said Breathalyzer. Enjoy!

Be sure to notice what I blew on this thing. Haha.

Here is jeff having a turn

Random crap of the day:

Movie of the day: HotRod, its funny as hell... go see it

Quote of the day: "I laid between my date's legs and made slurping sounds similar to those of a cancer patient makes while eating hospital broth with a spork." - Jim Norton

Song of the day: Hole in the Earth - Deftones

Can you explain to me how
You're so evil (how)
It's too late for me now
There's a hole in the earth (hole in the earth)
I'm out

There's a hole in the earth (I'm out)

Can you explain to me now
If you're still able (whilst)
I think you know the truth
There's a hole in the earth
I'm out

I hate all of my friends
They all accept our time
There's a hole in the earth (I'm out)
There is a hole in the earth

Let's think about
This is the end
(Somewhere)
This is the end
(Somewhere)

There's a hole in the earth (hole in the earth)
There's a hole in the earth (hole in the earth)
I hate all of my friends
I'm out
There's a hole in the earth
(Somewhere)

I guess theres only one thing left to say....

- Stew

Things i did

Have an update, here are some of the things i did, in order.

Went to a NASCAR race with Anita in Charlotte, memorial day weekend

Was on the opposite side of the road during a high speed chase in Greensboro

Pear flew down to Greensboro to hang out.

Watched Chapman eat 10 and a half hotdogs in 12 minutes, at the Charlotte Nathans Qualifier

Went to many baseball games and had a good time.

Flew Danny to Greensboro

Moved back to NY, Danny drove the moving truck.

Why?

I was really bored in a lot of aspects. I honestly liked Greensboro, but its not for me... not right now anyways. I also learned that you can't run from your past.

Find me, I'm in Warsaw... with Jeff K. And my Arcade game (which i am refurbishing) and a BAR... in the living room. 585-729-4917 or send me something here or on aim or yahoo or email, shatteredsoul14@yahoo.com

Any Questions?

Other things:

Mr. Wizard Died
The Sabres lost their best 2 players but i think theyll be ok for next year
Joey Chestnut brought the coveted mustard belt back to the USA by out eating Takeru Kobayashi 66 dogs to 63. Koby had a reversal of fortune (he barfed, we all saw it)
Got pegged in the arm with a bottle rocket by some douche. I said and i quote... "OKAY, am I going to have to skullfuck some pre-teens?" Greg's mom and dad popped huge.

Man i missed the country.

Random Crap:

Movie of the day: Live Free or Die Hard - This is the best axxion type flick ive seen in quite awhile.

Transformers wasnt anything to write home about.

Quote of the day: "Happiness is not a reward, it's a consequence"

Song of the Night: "Loyalty" by American Head Charge

"Loyalty"

It's just a reason to deny
All the limits that border
On the thiniest frailties
that makes a sudden change

I'll play my soul into sleep
I'll make up words that I keep
Letting nothing go to anyone at all

Where is your loyalty now
When all the cards have been left on the table?
Where is your loyalty now
When all the cards have been left on the table?

All of them
Bleed at the nerves
That take so long
To wear down

I'll play my soul into sleep
I'll make up words that I keep
Letting nothing go to anyone at all

Where is your loyalty now
When all the cards have been left on the table?
Where is your loyalty now
When all the cards have been left on the table?

This time I have made enough mistakes
For you to bear against me
Endure and break
Our original ideals
That let us down
And betrayed our trust
Like all your promises

I've seen the piece of shit alive in you
Cause I'm there enough to be a truth

This time I have made enough mistakes
For you to bear against me
Endure and break
Our original ideals
That let us down
And betrayed our trust
Like all your promises

Where is your loyalty now
When all the cards have been left on the table?
Where is your loyalty now
When all the cards have been left on the table?

That about covers it all, whew.. longest six minutes of my life.

Stew

Picture of the night:

have a video blog

Hey folks, enjoy this video blog. Its 2 parts and pertains to the city of Greensboro and more importantly Greensboro's best baseball mascot, Miss Babe Ruth... the Greensboro Grasshoppers batdog!

enjoy gang

Stew

part 1

part 2

Tie A Knot and Keep Hanging

Hey, where the hell have I been? Where the hell have YOU been. Oh wait, it's my journal you say... well then, here is where i've been.

Yeah, its been awhile... get over it.

Lets see, is April now, daylight savings time has come and gone along with easter and the weather was nice around here for a while but its turn to colder and shittier the last few weeks. Baseball has started and so has arena football, went to a few games of each the last couple of weeks which brings me to a funny story.
Last Thursday at the First Horizon Park in scenic downtown Greensboro, North Carolina was THIRSTY THURSDAY. This meant that it was dollar beer night. If you know my roommate, you know this is his kind of jive. Anyways we went and paid for the cheap seats in left field but felt compelled to sit in the swankier 3 dollars more expensive seats along the right field line near the dugout.
Now lets rewind to a few weeks ago before baseball started. Jefferson Slapnutz went and bought a cowbell for this seasons games, both arena football and baseball. Actually on his way home from the music store where he got the bell, i met up with him driving home and we simultaneously sang (and cow belled) Nazareth's song "Hair of the Dog" with our windows down, alongside one another going to East Lee Street in Greensboro. Needless to say, drivers around us and bums begging for money got a little treat. Anyways, we were at this game Thursday, doing what we normally do, be loud and try to get everyone behind the home team. Chapman was dinging the cowbell after good plays and so on and so forth. I decided to leave in inning 5 of the 2nd game of the double header so i can go home and watch some UFC on the television. Apparently the absolute second I left, the guy that was sitting in front of us with his two children, decided to punch chapman in his fat head, getting both this grown man and his kids and chapman ejected from the game. Apparently that guy didn't want any more cowbell. Now asshole chapman is afraid to sit in that section again due to further being accosted. I told him he's a pussy because he shouldn't let one fuckhead ruin his good time. Besides, if I had stayed, that guy wouldn't have pulled any shit.

Speaking of my roommate Jefferson Slapnutz, he was invited to participate in a Nathan's qualifier in Charlotte. See, every summer, on the 4th of July the worlds best gurgitators meet at Coney Island, NYC to determine the hotdog eating champion of the world. If you've ever heard the name Takeru Kobayashi or have seen a skinny Japanese kid eating 50 some odd hotdogs the last few years, then you know what im talking about. Anyways, Chapman was invited to this qualifier in early June. If he wins it or has a strong showing, he will be on tv for the 4th of July contest. Needless to say, i'm going to Charlotte with him and ill be recording him eating on my newly bought digital camcorder, that fits in my pocket. Video footage forthcoming.

I think i had a birthday back in February, i'm still not sure.

To end the saga about the new vehicle speculation, well it'd be easier to show you:

This is a sexy Chevy Colorado Crew Cab, say hi

Now if you know me, the custom license plate is a must, so for this round of custom license plate greatness I decided to think of the most deplorable, grotesque, ridiculous thing I was allowed to put on a license plate and see if it would actually go though. I think i succeeded in my aim: THIS is what I came up with

If You are unfamiliar with what this is, here is the wikipedia.org article about it: Bukkake (pronounced: boo cock e) is a group sex practice that features a woman being ejaculated on by multiple men.[1]

So basically Bukkake is a bunch of dudes unloading all over a chick. Fucked up and hilarious, for the few who actually know what it is.

Now its time for a story about being pulled over. I was pulled over a few weeks ago on my way to work, and from what i learned from this experience, it pays to be an honest asshole. Here is how the conversation went down:

Cop: Do you know the speed limit around here?
Me: Yeah 35 miles an hour
Cop: You passed me going 45 back there (note that most everyone drives over 45 on this road)
Me: Yeah, you were going 30 and i had to get by you, i've got places to be
Cop: License and registration, NOW
(In the meantime, he goes back to his car for two or three minutes. It should be noted that i still have a NY State license and my new fuck truck is registered and plated in North Carolina (as evidenced by the above pictures... duh)
Cop: Why do you have a NY license?
Me: Because I haven't changed it yet
Cop: Well get it changed. You are supposed to have 90 days to do it. I dont know how they drive up there in NY but we dont drive that way down here... SLOOOOOOW DOWWWWWN
Me: Yeah, right (hands me my license and registration)

And I still made it to work on time, without a ticket. So the moral of the story is to be an honest asshole to asshole cops i guess. Then they wont give you tickets.

That about sums it up i guess, other than that its just work and goofing around for me. So uh, here is your random crap!

Quote of the day: "Idleness is the holiday of fools"

Movie of the Night: The Departed - I am a little slow on the trigger on this one but Scorsese finally won his Oscar for this movie for a reason. Its fucking awexome. So go check this shit out if you haven't watched it yet, or if you just like gangster type flicks.

Song of the night: "God's Gonna Cut You Down" - Johnny Cash

You can run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Sooner or later God'll cut you down
Sooner or later God'll cut you down

Go tell that long tongue liar
Go and tell that midnight rider
Tell the rambler, the gambler, the back biter
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down

Well my goodness gracious let me tell you the news
My head's been wet with the midnight dew
I've been down on bended knee talkin' to the man from Galilee
He spoke to me in the voice so sweet
I thought I heard the shuffle of the angel's feet
He called my name and my heart stood still
When he said, "John go do My will!"

Go tell that long tongue liar
Go and tell that midnight rider
Tell the rambler, the gambler, the back biter
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down

You can run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Sooner or later God'll cut you down
Sooner or later God'll cut you down

Well you may throw your rock and hide your hand
Workin' in the dark against your fellow man
But as sure as God made black and white
What's down in the dark will be brought to the light

You can run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Sooner or later God'll cut you down
Sooner or later God'll cut you down

Go tell that long tongue liar
Go and tell that midnight rider
Tell the rambler, the gambler, the back biter
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut you down
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut you down
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut you down

Later ya'll, show some love

Stew

Picture of the night: Kobayashi wearing the coveted mustard belt

Hello Darkness My Old Friend

Welcome back for your latest and way overdue installment of this is my life and what the hell have i been doing.

This entry is brought to you by my new LAPPYTRON5000, Sony Vaio... powered by WINDOWS VISTA! A little new years present i gave to myself, compliments of the states of NY and NC and my Income tax. Got the absolute second vista was available. Like, i was the first person in the store. Speaking of income tax, i did my taxes myself via taxfreedom.com and it took less than an hour. And most importantly it was free. Unlike the Jackson Hewitt tax service who wanted to charge me 200 bucks. Yes, i bluntly told them to go fuck themselves.

I last posted at the end of December as the year was coming to an end. I kind of alluded to the fact that I was heading somewhere. In reality, i went home to NY for New Years. I really didnt tell many people i was heading home cause i wanted to suprise some people, mainly my grandparents who i actually miss a lot. My grandfather, whom basically was my father growing up is losing his short term memory and two weeks ago, we found out why. He has apparently suffered four mini-strokes. Upon hearing this, i told my grandmother that if he's been through that and just cant remember short term things, then she and he should be counting their blessings.

Anyways, i flew home to NY for new years and it was the first time i have ever flown before. Needless to say it was a pleasant experience for the most part. I like the fact that i can get completely home in an hour and change. I had a layover in DC and although i fucking hate DC it wasnt too bad.

For new years i got possibly the greatest gift of all, my mom finally got a divorce from a man that i really really despise. I went with her to get the papers the day after i got home. Jeff K and his brother picked me up from the airport and we headed directly to the DP and got lowded. I had boobs in my face soon after. Turns out that girl works for my mom, and hilarity ensued. What a good homecoming that was.

The next day i went and visited my grandparents, they were pretty happy to see me. That night i went out to the bar with the boys. I stayed not so hammered that night. Hung out with jason the next day, went and checked out that new rocky flick. And new years met up with the PLW and i was bad, really bad. See, Jeff K got me a DEFTONES flask for xmas and i had to get rid of the ice 101 he put inside it before i headed to the airport on new years night. So before we went out on new years, i drank the entire flask. Needless to say i was shitty before i even left the house. Things got even worse from there. Man i had a great time. Ended up going to turkey's house after the balldrop (no i didnt drive), the lovely deanna ended up giving me a ride home. Haha, i spent most of new years day sleeping it off till i had to go to the airport.

Was good going home, i might head back in the spring to stay, we'll see how things go.

Since then, lets see what happened... not much really. Just back to work and doing the damn thing. As for that mustang i was lining up in my last entry, i was approved and everything was basically signed, sealed and delivered, i even got insurance for it, then the asshole dealership calls me back and said they sold it from under me that morning. To say i was pissed is an understatement.

On the bright side of things, today i checked out a sweet ass truck and ill see what happens in regard to that. I liked it a lot so hopefully ill end up with it. If i head back to NY, thatll be a big plus, considering i aint going nowhere in a mustang with all of the snow they have up there right now. They've been getting pounded for the better part of 2 weeks. Part of me doesnt miss it at all but then when people down here freak out at the littlest bit of snow, it makes me laugh hysterically.

Exhibit A

this is a picture of the devistation and destruction that closed up every school and business in the area.... haha, what a joke. The magic I word is the one that scares everyone, ICE is the thing people are most afraid of around here. In fact, even though all that snow was gone by the time i left work that day, stuff was still closed and schools were delayed even the next day. Pussies

Oh yeah, if you've been reading my crap since way back when, you know about Rapsnacks. They are the official snackfoods of urban areas everywhere. They feature rap/hip hop artists on the packaging and are directed towards those communities in cities across this great land. Just so happens the owner and creator of the company comes in our store and ships stuff all of the time. In fact he asks me my opinion on all sorts of stuff. So if you see the Insane Clown Posse on some rap or his new brand, rocksnacks in the future, its basically all my fault.

Here we are: He's a pretty nice dude.

Thats about all i got for now, if i forgot anything, youll hear about it later, here is your random crap;

Movie of the night: The Prestige - i stole a dvd rip of this off the net, it comes out later this month on dvd and you should go out of your way to see it. Its now one of my favorite movies of all time. I cant say enough cool things about it.

Quote of the Night: "im gonna eat your children" - Mike Tyson : have fun in rehab buddy, and jail again

Song of the night: Rusty Cage by Johnny Cash (Soundgarden Cover)

"Rusty Cage"

You wired me awake
And hit me with a hand of broken nails
You tied my lead and pulled my chain
To watch my blood begin to boil

But I'm gonna break
I'm gonna break my
I'm gonna break my rusty cage and run

Too cold to start a fire
I'm burning diesel, burning dinosaur bones
I'll take the river down to still water
And ride a pack of dogs

I'm gonna break
I'm gonna break my
I'm gonna break my rusty cage and run

Hits like a Phillips head Into my brain
It's gonna be too dark
To sleep again Cutting my teeth on bars
And rusty chains,
I'm gonna break my Rusty cage and run

When the forest burns
Along the road Like God's eyes In my headlights
When the dogs are looking
For their bones
And it's raining icepicks
On your steel shore

I'm gonna break
I'm gonna break my
I'm gonna break my rusty cage and run

Peace Kids.

Stew

Picture of the Night: As a marketing ploy for the TV show Aqua Teen Hunger Force, the cartoon network set up lite brites around 10 cities displaying one of the characters giving the middle finger, BOSTON figured they were bombs so they had the bomb squad blow them to a million fucking pieces. This is for you morons, thinking lite brites look like bombs... hahaha

Its the Holiday Season... 2006 Year in Review

Its Christmas Eve and I am sitting here alone in delightful Greensboro, North Carolina. It was 70 degrees out yesterday and it doesnt at all seem like Christmas to me. No snow, no pissing and moaning, no nothin. Kinda weird actually. Just seems like its still October. Ah well...

What has happened since the last time we talked?

I had thanksgiving with Amber, Ricci and Amber's mom. Was good to get together with some familiar faces for thanksgiving. I appreciate the fact that they invited me. I learned that the mall opened at 1 am on black friday so amber, ricci and i decided to meet up at the big mall down the way. I must tell you that i learned never to do that again. I was greeted by a line of what had to be 2000 people getting ready to shove and plow their way into the mall to get all the best deals that bath and body had to offer. Yeesh, i had to work the next day so that further ground the idea in my head that it was a bad idea. I bought a swank hat though.

On November 28th, Chapman and I hiked it to Winston-Salem, NC and for the second time in a few months, i got to see the Deftones again! Yes, i know he hates them but he didnt complain too much and honestly i think he still cant hear out of his right ear. This was the best i've ever seen the Deftones, and i've seen them 3 times now. All of the new songs they played were awexome too. Hopefully i'll be able to check them out again next year.

I checked out a 2006 stang yesterday, by my next journal entry there is a chance i might be driving it, we'll see. An interesting story to come out of that yesterday was that a few guys came and talked to me while we were waiting, this one redneck dude came up and started yaking and not telling me anything important. So i literally starting making snoring noises and the classic cartoon fake sleeping noise "jeeeep jeeep jeeeeep". I think it took slapnutz everything he had in him from busting out laughing while this guy was talking to me. I coulda cared less about this guy telling me about his 62 mustang, give me some info next time you insignificant douche.

I invented a new drink a few weeks back. Its called the candy cane. You mix equal parts of Cheerwine (a popular sodapop around here) with peppermint schnapps. It tastes exactly like a candy cane. Enjoy gang!

Did you guys all hear? I was named TIME MAGAZINE'S PERSON OF THE YEAR! Lets go to the tape!

ShatteredSoul14: did you know i was voted time magazine's person of the year?
Mas loco que tu: I did not
ShatteredSoul14: well i was
ShatteredSoul14: arent you happy for me
Mas loco que tu: A little
ShatteredSoul14: well, you were voted person of the year too
ShatteredSoul14: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061217/ap_on_re_us/time_person_of_year
ShatteredSoul14: so congrats man
Mas loco que tu: WE ROCK
ShatteredSoul14: yeah man
ShatteredSoul14: i might do a blog about it tomorrow
Mas loco que tu: WOOOH
ShatteredSoul14: i mean, it was a tumultuous year but we persevered
Mas loco que tu: LET'S HAVE A PARTY
Mas loco que tu: Indead
Mas loco que tu: I'd like to thank Jesus
Mas loco que tu: For not smiting me
ShatteredSoul14: i'd like to thank alcohol
Mas loco que tu: Alcohol is a must
ShatteredSoul14: for making me smite others
Mas loco que tu: lol
ShatteredSoul14: holy shit, im going to copy this conversation and put it in my journal and will make note that its 1:30 in the morning
Mas loco que tu: AND I have to be at work at 8
ShatteredSoul14: and i at 10:30

GO ME!

Now its time to do the 2006 year in review i guess.... enjoy

Great moments of 2006 in No particular order

1) New years last year at DP
2) Moving to Greensboro
3) Seeing the Deftones Twice this year
4) Meeting my hero Chino Moreno
5) All of the great MMA
6) Getting the Stang and arcade game!
7) Professionally writing
8) The Grad Party, the DVD is HILARIOUS. Me at my drunken finest
9) Jeff K coming home, made my 2nd half of 06
10) All the great times with the boys at the Hotel
11) The DVD we made Greg (fag, yes still!) with Ed's Wings and Liquor
12) MY XM RADIO!
13) Drunken nights on the front porch with Jeff K
14) Meeting Anita

Top things of 2006

Song of the year: "Cherry Waves" by The Deftones

Album of the year: Saturday Night Wrist by The Deftones (no brainer here). I havent taken this cd out of my car since the second i got it. Beck told me the same thing.

Movie of the year: CLERKS 2. Borat was a close second, but i only watched it once and clerks 2 makes me laugh everytime i watch it! HEYYYY!

There is a lot of things that also need to be mentioned but its hard to remember when you're put on the spot like this. Go back and check out all my entries from this past year and youll realize the things that were important to me and some of the disappointments. 2006 was a great year and there were lots of great times. Times changed, people changed, people distanced themselves, some got married and some died. I also changed a lot, just like I predicted one year ago. I think its for the better. Thanks to everyone who came in contact with me over this past year, you all made it one to remember, good or bad.

Evolution is a combination of chance mutation and natural selection. Life is a coin flip and I always pick tails. It never fails. Heres to an even better 2007 and the further evolution of my life.

See you next year, or next week ;)

Shawn

Beware, The Water

Hello darlin, nice to see ya.

Lets see here, the sabres are now 15-1-1 which is retarded in about 17 different ways, they look fantastic and they are banged up pretty good at the moment. So what if they win a lot of games in overtime, they win. Looking good come playoff time.

So the new deftones album came out and its pretty freakin amazing. This blows their last selftitled album out of the water and reminds me a lot of my favorite album ever, white pony. The more you listen to the album the more you like it. It debuted at number 10 on the billboard 200 charts which isnt too bad. I hope they release another single soon so it picks up some popularity steam. I get to check em out later this month which i am still stoked about.

The weather around here has been pretty decent lately. Been at or around the low to mid 70s and for me thats friggin ducky. Gas went up a little bit last week but i think its due to the following:

Dear Republicans, you're totally fucked. HAHA, we'll see you in 10 years.

One thing i wanted to touch on and stess to people is to GO FUCKING SEE THE MOVIE BORAT. Seriously, this is one of the funniest movies ive seen in a long ass time. It might even outrank clerks 2 for me. The whole friggin movie is the off the wall style hysterics that i am known for and love. This is the Napoleon Dynamite of 2006. Its going to continue to be huge.

I got another one of those checks for writing last week, NICEEE. Also got a fidy buck bonus at work, hello cable bill.

My mother said she is FINALLY getting a divorce, about a decade too late. Good for her. What does this mean for me? I am not really sure at this point but it might involve an extended visit to New York State.

Thats all i got for now, chapman is a drunk. Here is your random crap:

Movie of the Night - Did you not read the entry? its "BORAT- Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan" Go, now... quit reading... GO

Quote of the Night: "Watch my movie film, or I be execute" - Sasha Baron Cohen

Song of the Night: "Cherry Waves" - Deftones

In a sea of waves, we hug the same plank.
Just as I had rehersed it over in my brain.
I saw your end...

If the waves suck you in and you drown.
If like you should sink down beneath... I'll swim down.
Would you? Would you?

You hang the anchors over my neck
I liked it at first but the more you laughed, the crazier i came.

And the waves suck you in and you drown.
If like you should sink down beneath... I'll swim down.
Would you? Is that what you want?
You... well, thats what you've got?

Wave... after... wave...

If you should sink down beneath, I'll swim down.
Would you? Is this what you want?

Later gang,

Me

Picture of the night:

The Professional

Why sure i'm fine, im glad you asked. Some wacky shit has been going down lately, and im sure ill forget to mention half of it, so ill hit on somethings i actually remember.

The weather has been a little cold lately but i wont bitch so much considering i hear that NY is miserable and cold. By cold down here i mean in the high fifties to mid sixties. Today was kinda nice but a little windy. I ventured out to go to the bank and do laundry. Gas is still a little over 2 bucks here. I paid 2.07 the other day but i saw a place selling gas for 1.99 per gallon which rules seven schools. Work is going good too. It seems as though they make me do the ridiculous stuff but i dont mind. I'm a macgyver, as evidenced by my most improved tech student trophies from 7th and 8th grade. Plus i like using the hot knife, which is basically a lightsabre for foam.

Ever watch anyone consume 97 hamburgers in 8 minutes? I did today on ESPN 2 for the Krystals Square Off, which was an event put on by MLE - Major League Eating and the IFOCE (international federation of competitive eating for you not in the know). Kobayashi reigned supreme in this one just like ever other competition. The only time he has ever lost, it was to a fucking bear. American Joey Chestnut came up about 8 burgers short, but good for him, they bested the old record by like 30 friggin burgers.

I dont even know why im writing about this, i guess its the only excitement i had for the day. And really, i prolly only watched it because chapman loves the shit out of competitive eating. He was more stoked for this than any sporting event ever basically. What a dweeb... i'd rather watch trick shot bowling and/or billiards, although it impresses me that someone can eat that much.

Oh yeah, eater x finished tied for fifth with fidy five or so burgers.

Oh yes, I am now an official paid professional writer, i got a check in the mail for writing those sports articles earlier this year.

Since i moved i guess they couldnt find me but they contacted me somehow and got my new addy so bring on some checks. The one above is from whatever i wrote in february. Getting paid to write kicks ass, i need to do a little bit more of that. Feels good to get paid for writing about sports. So i guess you can call me a professional now.

The buffalo sabres finally lost a game this year after going 10 and 0 and tying the NHL record for wins to start a season. Tonight the thrashers beat them in a shootout, so their official record is now 10-0-1, the 1 being an overtime loss. They count that in the record these days i guess because they get a point for going to overtime now. Either way things are looking good for the playoffs. Buffalo needs a professional sports championship more than anyone ever knows. I survived the 4 super bowl losses and norwood and the no goal of 99. The area just needs it.

As for the Deftones album (which comes out on tuesday), I didnt download the leaked album because i figure, why spoil the whole thing for myself now. It comes out really soon so ill just check it out then. I did download some demos from the album but have listened to them sparingly. On the deftones myspace page, they released the whole album in streaming form anyways but i havent listened to that either. Good for me. I am going to see them in late november in winston-salem.

Speaking of late november, black friday is coming and i think im going to go balls deep and get a friggin laptop. My computer likes to make odd noises sometimes and its like five plus years old i think so its about time i start to upgrade in technology. I am not going to get rid of my mechanical pleasure device *yes thats what the registered name of my computer is*, but ill just use it for doing crazy things and not just my standard email and shit. I am thinking about getting a core 2 duo or maybe a vaio depending on whats available.

Oh yeah, i got a mini bank card. This thing is so small that it fits on my keychain. Swipe and go is what im sayin on this one. Its like 3/8ths the size of a regular bank card. Kinda neat i spose.

Well, thats that for now... here is some random shit:

Movie of the night: "AWESOME: I Fucking Shot That!" - This is actually a live musical performance by the Beastie Boys from Madison Square Garden (insert iron shiek joke here). Basically the band gave a bunch of fans video cameras to record the show and then they spliced all the footage together for the dvd release. Pretty swank in concept and it has that cool bootlegged concert feel. I reccomend it if you like weird shit or the beastie boys. I myself am not a huge fan but i like me some sabatoge. Thanks matty m in cali for randomly sending me that, was mighty white of you.

Quote of the night: "Because we don't know when we will die, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. Yet everything happens a certain number of times and a very small number. Really, how many more times will you remember a certain afternoon that's so deeply a part of your being that you can't even concieve of your life without it? Perhaps four or five times more. Perhaps not even that. How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps twenty, and yet it all seems limitless..."

Song of the night: "Just A Phase" - Incubus
I am bottled, fizzy water and you are shaking me up
You are a fingernail running down the chalkboard I thought I left in third grade
Now my only consolation is that this could not last forever
Even though you're singing and thinking how well you've got it made

Who are you? When will you be through?
Yea it's just a phase...it will be over soon
Yea it's just a phase

Call it women's intuition
But I think I'm onto something here
Temporaryism has been the black plague and the Jesus of our age
I know I must sound opinionated
Maybe biased and quite possibly jaded
But sooner than later they'll be throwing quarters at you on stage

Who are you? When will you be through?
Yea it's just a phase...it will be over soon
Yea it's just a phase
And I'm waiting for it to be over too

Night Kids, the over 300 of you that joined me this month.

Stew

Random picture of the night:

Moving Along

Welcome back, its nice to have so many of you this month, This is going to be an all time record month methinks. Several hundred so far and today is the middle of the month, so thats pretty swank.

Now to something very unswank. My great grandmother died yesterday. This is the first real death that ive ever experienced within my family so im treading in some new water. To be honest, im not upset at all about it really. She lived a long 92 years, outlived 2 husbands and for the last several, she has suffered from alzheimers. So I suspect she's in a good place now looking down. To be serious for a moment, i'd just like to say that she was possibly the sweetest woman I have ever had the pleasure of meeting in my entire life. She didnt have an evil bone in her body, and its a shame to see that she was the matriarch of such a miserable family.

Most of my fathers side of the family, save my grandfather the ol reb and my uncle steve. The rest of them are so miserable and bitter, my father included. One thing that did and didnt anger me was an instant message that my grandmother sent me. I didnt reply, as i was on away.. but in her message she first asked how i was, which was cool then asked if i was working then in passing told me her mother died. It was so nonchalant that i was kinda pissed over that. But thats who my grandmother is i guess. Only wants anything to do with you when you can first do something for her. I dont play that. Same goes for my father, whom called me absolutely bombed off his ass last night. I'm sorry his grandmother died but dont call me when you cant think straight, i dont tolerate that shit. Bottom line, RIP gram. I love you. always will.

Moving along...

I am happy to be out of NY right now as in some areas they got well over 2 feet of snow. From what i understand some of buffalo is still crippled by what happened last thursday and friday. I'll take the nice weather here over fucking snow any day. I've had enough snow in my first 22 and 3/4 years of life.

Gas update: i paid $2.05 a gallon at the pump today. Not bad considering the 3 dollar shit back in NY.

Last weekend we went to a flea market at the greensboro coliseum and the only thing i bought was a brass "paperweight" for 5 bucks. I will be frank with you, they are fucking brass knuckles and they kick copious amounts of ass. I wouldnt want to be on the wrong end of a scuffle with someone wearing some of those.

Amber and Ricci, whom i went to school with at good ol LCS in NY contacted me earlier this past week via aim and myspace. I learned that Amber actually lives like 15 minutes away. Ricci and Cassie came down here this weekend to visit, so i hung out with all of them and had dinner friday night and tonight. Was good seeing some familiar faces down here. Also got me out of the apartment for a bit, which is always good. Thanks for having me over gang.

Work is going well, im so glad you asked. I like using the fucking hot knife. Which is basically this headed up gun-knife type thing that cuts through styrofome like chapman cutting through a case of bud light.

Hockey season has finally started and the sabres are 5 and 0 so far. In case i forgot to mention, we ordered the NHL center ice pack which enables us to watch every game basically. So its going to be a fun season. God the sabres new gerzy's are gawd awful.

HAHAHAH, fuck the new york yankees, you suck shit.

I have a dilemma, the new Deftones album was leaked on the net today and i have mixed feelings about downloading it now, when i know i have a real copy reserved for me on halloween when its scheduled to be released. I like the 3 released songs thus far but am not sure what to do. Chime in with a comment and let me know what you think.

I guess thats all i got for now, heres some random shit:

Quote of the night: Once he took a ball and chucked it as hard as he could at a net that separated fans from the field. "If there wasn't a net there, it would have smoked 'em right in the face," he says. "But they're so stupid, they jumped back like the ball would hit 'em." - John Rocker, 2000

Video of the night: Rich Franklin getting his Nose fused to the other side of his face by anderson silva's knee last night on UFC 64

Song of the night: "Reborn" by Stone Sour

I am walking through your streets
I am looking in your windows
I am elemental now
You'll never even know I'm there

I am watching over you
I am living in the shadows
I am just a word to you, but I am very real and cold
Cold to all of this
Cold to how you feel
Cold to all your loose reason

I am everything
I am anything
I am automatic
I am yesterday
I am everyday
I am gonna be...

Yeah

I am all there is to know
I am all that you've forgotten
I am enigmatic now
You never even knew my name
I am dressed in tragedy
I am by design immortal
I am just the last one left but I am always here and old

Old and very strong
Old as all you feel
Old as all the world around you

Yeah

I am everything
I am anything
I am automatic
I am yesterday
I am everyday
I am gonna be...Reborn
(This is the start of something)

Night gang, show some love

Stew
shatteredsoul14@yahoo.com

Picture of the night: Fear the Brass "paperweights" (picture taken hours ago)

East Most Peninsula Is The Secret

It was wicked nice out today. Like so nice that the sun was shining, no wind, and it was just warm enough to not be too hot, but cool enough to be super comfortable and drive a stang with the windows down.

It makes me smile that gas is 2.10 a gallon here.

What happened since the last time. Lets see, I started my new job and its going pretty well so far. I'm sure Slapjunk and I are going to want to kill one another there eventually but ill keep it tame for as long as i can. The people there are pretty neat and some of the customers rule too.

Speaking of customers, the other day i left work at 5pm and Chapman calls me like 20 minutes later. Bust this, the fucking OWNER and CREATOR of RAPSNACKS was in our store. And i FUCKING missed it! Believe me, i was super, hyper pissed over that one. What were the fucking odds of him even being there, let alone being there right after my shift. If you are reading this and have no clue what i am talking about here, RAPSNACKS are basically potato chips and other snacks but they are targeted at the african american and hip hop culture. The bags feature rappers like lil romeo, old dirty bastard and more! The following is a link to a website i created back in 2001 during my first year of college basically detailing how i stumbled upon rapsnacks for the first time and a few bags that i posted online. http://shatteredsoul14.tripod.com/shatteredsoulssiteorama/id15.html For more, check out http://www.rapsnacks.com

Needless to say, chapman took the opportunity to get an autographed bag of rapsnacks from the owner/ceo james lindsay, he also swiped a picture with the passport camera at work. Now that i gaze at the site apparently they are based out of greensboro, nc which kicks ass. Maybe he'll stop in again.

In other news, hockey started today. Chapman ordered the NHL Center Ice Package which means we can watch every game thats on TV. Which in theory is kinda ridiculous because there are hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of games per year, so im sure we'll get our hockey fill. Speaking of tv, i fucking love DVR. In case you are so out of the technology loop that you dont know what DVR is, its this nice little thing which allows you to record shows live on your digital/satellite. Then at a later time you can go and watch whatever you recorded. We record PRESS YOUR LUCK every day and watch it at night after work. We are also privy to recording other random crap which include but are not limited to competitive eating, rassling, mma and random comedy skits and sporting events.

Oh yeah we didnt make that paper, that girl that took the pic was in our store, i shoulda asked her if she had that picture, ill ask next time.

Things to look forward to:

Events in the coliseum. The greensboro coliseum houses many many shows and events. For instance, Guns and Roses will be there in november, and this saturday there is a huge fucking flea market. The musical The Producers is going to be there soon along with Nick Lachay, if you are a fucking faggot. Going to check some stuff out there, maybe even hit that flea market. I love flea markets, especially that one time i got a MR.T figure for a dollar.

I learned this morning that the Deftones will be in Winston-Salem in November, which is only a half hour away. So im wicked stoked for that. Deadsy is opening too and i like deadsy a lot.

Will probably make my way out to a few bars or something this weekend, and maybe even the dixie classic fair.

Thats about all i got for now, ill catch up with you later after more fun and exciting things happen. Here is your random shit:

Movie of the night: The breakfast club - Its on right now on the ABC family channel. So fucking what if its on that channel which is directed towards little kids. Its the breakfast club and i am contractually obligated to watch it, no matter the channel.

Quote of the night: "When the opportunity presents itself, I do not hit. It hits all by itself." - Bruce Lee

Song of the night: "Te Amo...I Hate You" - ILL NINO

Te amo... I hate you
Te amo and I hate you
Te amo... I hate you
You always think that you are right

Everything you ever promised to not do you did
You fucked me up so just admit it
You are just another bitch and I know that you did it
How could you let us split in two

I was just another game so fuck you
There is nothing I could do
You're so tough, so bad, so cold
But now you eat your words

Don't try
Telling all your fucking lies
'Cause I
Make you eat your words and die
Don't try
Telling all your fucking lies
'Cause I
Make you eat your words and die

Think you're better but I know that you will never get it
This page will turn and you'll regret it
Everything you ever promised to not do you did
How could you let us split in two

Tomorrow is payday, Rock!

Stew

Picture of the night: Competitve eater, Tim Janus aka Eater X. Watched him via streaming video on sunday as he devoured 53 Krystal hamburgers in 8 minutes to qualify him for the Krystals Eat off in a few weeks.

Oh yeah, I am still alive... much to your chagrin

Neato gang, todays installment is being broadcasted from steamy and sultry Greensboro, North Carolina. So yes, I made it down here alive easily enough. I dont know that it was smart to leave at 9pm at night, but we got R done and I have arrived. I even brought my fucking arcade game, so we're pimpin it here at 3904 hahns. Much love to Danny who helped me out when everyone else douched me off.

I'd like to make mention of a few things from before I left. the Friday before I left, we had a last boys night out, I dubbed it my "last call". All my local favorites were there... greg, eric, danny, jeff k. We had a hell of a time and I drank a lot more than I should have that night. At one point some middle aged shitdick decided to chat us up when we were getting some air outside. The dude was being a douchenozzle so I told him the following, "Nineteen eighty-four called, they want their haircut back". Needless to say that went over pretty well with the crowd and especially our drunken feathery mulleted middle aged friend. So what does a middle aged guy do when you call on the proverbial "thunder". He challenges me to drink shots with him. SOCO was the brand and if you know me, i fucking love SOCO... so it was on. And that was basically that, I had jeff k with me and if the dude tried taking a swing at me, i knew that before he planted his feet to throw, jeff would have him on the ground writhing in pain. Its good to have a ninja as one of my best friends.

Anyways, my Last Call was fucking awesome and thanks to all of you guys who came along. We had a hell of a time.

Also before i left we went to family values tour in Darien and i got to meet my hero! Shit like this doesnt happen often in life but i got the chance to meet my hero Chino Moreno, lead singer of the deftones. It was pretty cool and i scored some autographs of the band as well. I can die a nearly happy person now.

Now onto the moving story. I rented a truck, standard pickup so when we went to go pick it up, the fucking thing wasnt there. I blew a gasket and am like what the fuck dude, i reserved this shit. So the dude tells me that he will have something for me the following day at 8 am. I'm like yeah, it better be bigger than a pickup too. Needless to say the dude gave me a cargo van for the same price with unlimited mileage. Which saved me about 600 dollars, and i got to bring nearly all of my shit, including my arcade machine. Its a pretty long drive, especially when you plan on driving over 10 hours starting at 9pm at night. Danny and I stopped in southern west virginia and slept a few hours. The drive isnt too terrible but its wicked foggy and i freak out at night cause i cant see crap, that just helped the situation. Anyways we made it here and all is well since.

Onto a few observations about North Carolina and more specifically, Greensboro.
It is a fairly nice city. From what I can tell so far the weather is absolutely gorgeous, even though it rains hard sometimes. The kicker is that the sun will be blazing shortly afterward so all is well. Some of the roads here are kinda hard to navigate, but everything will lead to somewhere that you recognize, so it isnt that much of a problem. Gas here is wicked cheap compared to NY. Gas was like 2.19 a gallon the other day which is fucking awesome. Cheerwine is quite possibly the best soft drink ever and its readily available anywhere around here. Southerners eat some pretty rank fucking shit, that would like make a somalian gag.

Having roadrunner again is THEE SHIT!

Bust this, its nearly the coolest thing ever, last thursday, chapnutz and i entered ourselves into a fucking PAPER, ROCK, SCISSORS tournament at a local bar. YES, you did read that correctly, the most ridiculous game of all time, and there was a sweet ass tournament for it here in Greensboro! In fact, the winner got 500 bucks. Slappy and i didnt stick around to see who won though because we both got eliminated in the 2nd round. Hawt damn though, how retardedly awesome is that whole concept. Some dame from some local weekly paper here took pictures of me and chapman in front of the gigantic rules. We are throwing up signs and i have a bar stool ready in my other hand to accost him. Hopefully thatll be in next weeks paper, if it is... ill pass along some photo action.

We went to the best resturaunt ever yesterday called the golden corral. If its food, they probably have it there. Fuck, they even had jellybeans. Even I was impressed at the spread and I dont impress easy. Another place I want to mention is cookout. It is easily the best fast food place ever. The burgers are like, out of this world good. The food selection down here is pretty awesome. Way better than NY, although i do miss mighty taco.

I got a job down here already, had an interivew this past thursday at UPS and i start tomorrow. Pays pretty well to start and it seems like it can be somewhat fun. I'm looking forward to it.

Thats about it for now, i am sure i am forgetting a ton more shit, but i can make more of these. Here is your random crap:

Movie of the night: Jackass 2 - Saw this yesterday and it was off the wall hilarious. Although one part nearly had me barfing. Chris Pontius drank something he shouldnt've, and it came from a horse and wasnt pee. Yuck.

Quote of the night: "I would love to tap that ass, and I want to but my dick is too aware that your pussy is a chamber of financial ruin" - Louis CK, Lucky Louie

Song of the night: "Hole in the Earth" - Deftones (new album out on halloween!)

Can you explain to me how youre stable, how
It’s too late for me now
there’s a hole in the earth I’m out

there’s a hole in the earth I’m out

Can you explain to me now
if you’re stable, whilst
I think you know the truth
there’s a hole in the earth, I’m out

I hate all of my friends
they all attack sometimes
there’s a hole in the earth, I’m out
there’s a hole in the earth, lets take a bow

this is the end
somewhere
this is the end
somewhere

there’s a hole in the earth
there’s a hole in the earth

I hate all of my friends (I’m out)
there’s a hole in the earth
I’m away somewhere

Thats all folks,

Stew

Picture of the night: No whammys, big bucks.... stop!

Bye

Im going to make this short and brief... Bye bye New York State.

Greensboro, North Carolina... Shawn Stewart is coming and I'm going to kick your fucking ass!

Lengthy update involving my last few weeks here and meeting my fucking hero, forthcoming. Here is your random crap.

Last quote of New York State: "In this world it is not what we take up, but what we give up, that makes us rich."

Last song of New York State: "Lateralus" by Tool

Black then white are all I see in my infancy.
red and yellow then came to be, reaching out to me.
lets me see.
As below, so above and beyond, I imagine
drawn beyond the lines of reason.
Push the envelope. Watch it bend.

Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind.
Withering my intuition, missing opportunities and I must
Feed my will to feel my moment drawing way outside the lines.

Black then white are all I see in my infancy.
red and yellow then came to be, reaching out to me.
lets me see there is so much more
and beckons me to look through to these infinite possibilities.
As below, so above and beyond, I imagine
drawn outside the lines of reason.
Push the envelope. Watch it bend.

Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind.
Withering my intuition leaving all these opportunities behind.

Feed my will to feel this moment urging me to cross the line.
Reaching out to embrace the random.
Reaching out to embrace whatever may come.

I embrace my desire to
feel the rhythm, to feel connected
enough to step aside and weep like a widow
to feel inspired, to fathom the power,
to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain,
to swing on the spiral
of our divinity and still be a human.

With my feet upon the ground I lose myself
between the sounds and open wide to suck it in,
I feel it move across my skin.
I'm reaching up and reaching out,
I'm reaching for the random or what ever will bewilder me.
And following our will and wind we may just go where no one's been.
We'll ride the spiral to the end and may just go where no one's been.

Spiral out. Keep going, going...

Talk to you soon,

Stew - reaching for the random or whatever will bewilder me

17 Days... awww shit son

I've been meaning to update this thing for awhile now but every time i want to do it, i end up passing out seconds later. So here ya go, quite possibly my last entry from Western New York.

Essentially I am out of here in 17 days. I will finally be heading to Greensboro, NC.

Dont believe me?

I have a fucking cell phone. If you know me, you know that i hate and despise these fucking things, but i figured that if i am going to be leaving state, someone might want to contact me for phone sex, or to say hi. So i went out and got one of these crappy things. So yeah, i hope that proves that i am actually leaving, in case the whole... me turning down a state job didnt.

Heres my number, dial carefully: (585) 729-4917
Go ahead and text me, thats much easier and i dont have to talk to anyone. I havent figured out the voicemail thing yet, bare with me.

Whats been going on, well basically i have one of my best friends back. Jeff K, my brother from another mother is back home rockin the castile. He and his ol lady have decided to seperate. So we've been hanging out a bunch recently. And had i known a week earlier that he was coming home, i very well might have taken that state job and got a place with him somewheres.

But everything in life is based upon timing, so i missed the boat on that one. Anyways, we have been having some great times, which include but arent limited to the following:

1) Seeing Clerks 2 and smuggling an eighth of soco in the theater.
2) Getting completely loaded on my front porch watching movies at 2 am.
3) Jeff saying he's going to punch the escaped horse on one of the porch nights.
4) Him serving me drinks at the DP.
5) Cruising the stang absolutely everywhere.
6) Bar hopping on consecutive nights and consecutive occasions.
8) Reliving grades 10 though 12 all over again.
9) PL f'n W reunion! - thats right, the band was back together.
10) Him eating peanut butter with a broken DVD!

Its not until you lose one of your best friends for the better part of 3 years that you realize how much you missed them. We are one of the best friend duos in the history of friend duos. Fuck tango and cash, turner and hooch, laurel and hardy... we liken ourselves to the INTELLECTUAL Beavis and Butthead.

Its been good, and will continue to be that way for as long as i have left here in NY.

Other than all that shit, just kinda tying up loose ends here and there. I've taken to working just mondays and fridays until i leave. Just seeing some people and getting in my goodbyes. I gotta make it out to see the peanut and pearboy as well. Maybe even joink too.

Its fair week, so i've been there a few times both with and without the Krow. Trying to hang out with Erik and Danny as much as i can. Tonight Erik tractor pulled. I took one of my LED nametags and put it on his back when he was pulling. It said "I am awesome". I truly am the greatest guy. Good times. Greg comes home this weekend and im sure ill try doing the same. I hope he wont come home as the raging alcoholic that we are all expecting.

Am i worried about to NC? Nah, not really. A new environment is all one needs sometimes. I will figure things out just like i always do and just keep being who i am. Will i miss WNY? Maybe some aspects of it, but i feel as though my time here is through for now. Im sure there is something better out there then mediocrity.

I am sure that there are so many more things that i am forgetting to mention in this one, but that is all you get for now. We'll see if i chime in before i leave. Say your goodbyes everyone in NY. Here is your random crap:

Album of the Night: "Christ Illusion" by Slayer - Picked this up the other day on a pilgrimage to Rochester. Jeff bought a laptop, i bought slayer. i call it even. This album rules. Kerry King is the somewhat disputed king of the guitar solo.

Movie of the night: Beerfest is coming out in a week or so, but for now Talledega Nights was pretty funny. Shake and Bake 4 life son.

Song of the night: "Dread & The Fugutive Mind" Megadeth

Dread & The Fugitive Mind

Let me introduce myself
I 'm a social disease
I 've come for your wealth
And leave you on your knees
No time for feeling sorry
I got here on my own
I won't ask for mercy
I choose to walk alone

What's yours is mine and what's mine is mine too
If you shake my hand, better count your fingers

What if I do get caught?
What if there is no judgement?
If I 'm right I lose nothing
If you're right I lose it all

I ought to get caught
Because I 'm doing something wicked
I'm guilty haunted by my fears
And the only consequences
Are dread and the fugitive mind

You built walls to protect you
So no one will infect you
Pursued by those out there
That vanish in thin air
Come a long way to find
What you really left behind
You don't know when the end is
But it 's coming fast

Take care everyone

Stew

Picture of the night: PLW Scalawags

Half the story

Neato, we're back for another installment of whatever this is.

Things have been pretty weird lately, so lets go to the tape.

2 kids i work with got fired on monday for drinking openly at work on friday. Somehow they figured they werent going to get caught. We dont know how the bosses found out at this point but this is a real-life warning to those thinking about drinking on the job... dont do it, youll get caught. Im talking to you chapman and greg.

Remember how in the last journal i said the state called and wanted me in for that job interview. Well i had that job interview and it went very well. A few days later i got a call saying that they wanted me to start as soon as i can give notice. So yeah, there it is... a state job, around 30k to start, full state benefits and a full state pension.

I turned it down

Now you all might be wondering why the FUCK i would do something like that. The truth is that i havent been kidding when i said i was leaving this state. I am leaving hopefully next month come hell or high water. I am going to see what is out there while im still young. I see people around here all the time that plan on staying exactly where they are their whole lives. We get one chance people, only one to try new things out and figure out what the world has in store for us. I dont intend on spending my entire life here in wyoming county being a drone and seeing the same shit day after day.

No amount of money is worth ones mental stability and happiness. And i hope i proved that to some of you. Although, i woulda bought a sweet 2006 stang. Im going to get one anyways, you watch and see.

What else is new.... i am going to Cleveland on Saturday. It should be a good time. Other than that, things are just moving along as expected.

Lets talk about how great of a show quantum leap was. This show kicks copious amounts of ass and thanks to the ever-powerful technology of the Digital Video Disc, i can watch this shit whenever i want. Go out and check some of it out, this was a great freakin tv show.

Lets talk about Bushwick Bill, one of the original members of the group the geto boys. Bushwick is a midget and you all know how i have ungodly love for the midgets. Anyways one night in 1991, while drunk, he shot himself after an argument when his girlfriend refused to shoot for him. In the incident, he lost his right eye. Midgets without eyes are even more funny.

Eventually he went batshit but still produces his own music today. At one point he changed his name to
Dr. Wolfgang Von Bushwickin the Barbarian Mother Funky Stay High Dollar Billstir

Yes thats his name. Here is how he explained it, "My new name is Dr. Wolfgang Von Bushwickin the Barbarian Mother Funky Stay High Dollar Billstir. I call myself Dr. because that is someone who must be precise when they execute their job. The Wolfgang is because on the cool, I'm classical music and my favorite artist is Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Bushwickin has to do with me being a father now and producing my own next of kin. So now I'm reproductive both verbally and physically. The Barbarian is to show that I still have the mind of a lunatic and that nothing's changed as far as me coming hard-core rough and rugged. Mother Funky Stay High is a manifestation of the aftermath of chronic-izm. Dollar Bill because I'm currently currency in the United States and abroad. Finally, "stir" is on the end because when I kick shit I always manage to stir something up, whether it's the police, parents, or pussy."

Yeah, thats all i got for now. Here is your random shit.

Quote of the day: "Change is the watchword of progression"

Movie of the Moment: CLERKS 2, this movie is friggin fantastic. I cant even explain how great and funny this movie was. Between Randall saying Porch Monkey, to the donkey show, this was nonstop hilarity. Go see it... now.

Song of the day: "Right In Two" - Tool

Angels on the sideline,
Puzzled and amused.
Why did Father give these humans free will?
Now they're all confused.

Don't these talking monkeys know that Eden has enough to go around?
Plenty in this holy garden, silly monkeys
Where there's one you're bound to divide it
Right in two

Angels on the sideline,
Baffled and confused.
Father blessed them all with reason,
And this is what they choose?

Monkey killing monkey killing monkey over pieces of the ground.
Silly monkeys give them thumbs they forge a blade
And where there's one they're bound to divide it
Right in two

Monkey killing monkey killing monkey over pieces of the ground.
Silly monkeys give them thumbs they make a club,
And beat their brother down.
How they survive so misguided is a mystery.
Repugnant is a creature who would squander the ability,
To lift an eye to heaven, conscious of his fleeting time here.

Cutting it all right in two
Cut it all right in two
Cutting our love right in two

Fight over the clouds, over wind, over sky
Fight over lie, over blood, over anything
Fight over love, over sun, over nothing
Fight till they die,
over what? for their ending

Angels on the sideline again,
Benched along with patience and reason.
Angels on the sideline again,
Wondering where this tug of war will end.

Cutting it all right in two
Cut it all right in two
Cutting our love right in two

Peace, in the middle east.

Shawn

Picture of the day: Bushwick Bill, at the hospital, after he shot himself.

Reality Stars, Parties and Blood Letting

Morning friends, lets get to it.

July 1st was a pretty neat day.

I got to meet and interview reality tv show winner and UFC star Rashad Evans. Rashad Evans took part in The Ultimate Fighting Championship's reality tv show The Ultimate Fighter, which airs on SPIKETV. The basic premise of the show is that they get up and coming mixed martial artists to compete for six figure contracts in the UFC. If the fighter loses their fights on the reality tv show, then they are eliminated. Rashad Evans won the heavyweight division by defeating 3 guys that are considerably bigger than him. Essentially he won a six figure contract, a new car, an expensive watch and the right to be called the ultimate fighter.

The wednesday before... June 28th, to be specific. Rashad fought live on SPIKE TV on UFC Ultimate Fight Night. During his fight with TUF season 1 veteran, Stefan Bonnar... 20 million plus people were watching live in their homes. Think about that for a second... TWENTY MILLION freakin people were watching him fight.

Anyways, I had the pleasure of meeting him and even interviewing him for either sports and leisure magazine or whatever else i decide to do with the interview. The interview took place in the city we were both born in, Niagara Falls, NY. We (Jason and I) got treated like kings and he was a really cool guy, very down to earth and very funny. Not a bad encounter and experience for some schlub that lives in Gainesville, NY.

I actually recorded the audio of the interview and posted it for download on the net. Here is the link, if it happens to go down, someone email me or im me and ill reupload it for more of you to enjoy.

Here is the link: http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=download&ufid=EF0754927C09E307

Secondly, this past saturday was the day in which I was really looking forward to this summer and that was the grad party that eminated from Turkey's house. Chapman's grandma died last week so he had the opportunity to come home for her funeral and hang out with me on this very day. Which was pretty cool considering i hadn't seen him in 11 months. Sucks his grandma had to die for him to take the ride. Anyways, the grad party. In preperation for this all out boozefest, we had to take a trip that friday to PA to get lots and lots and lots of fireworks. And let me tell you, the fireworks did not disappoint. Essentially, the premise of this party was to chill out, blow shit up and get really really loaded and i even bought some bottles of booze to celebrate the occasion. I armed myself with a half bottle of aftershock which i previously had, and i got some captain and some schlager. It was good times indeed. Danny had his video camera over there and we basically filmed the proceedings just to piss greg off. See, Greg is in Florida still, so he couldnt be there. So we wanted to make a video to document what went on and basically say we miss him and to call him a fucking son of a whore since he wasnt there. We did pretty well. In fact, I did so well I refused to watch it right away because when I drink, I swear like a sailor being fucked in the ass by a manatee. I ended up watching the dvd and its pretty friggin hilarious, even though I call greg every name in the book! I reloaded my megaphone with batteries so you hear commentary on that for a great deal of the dvd.

Anyways, I had a tremendous time and the results speak for themselves. We got trashed and laughed our asses off about the dumbest shit known to man. This afternoon, I mailed the DVD to Greg down there, so he should prolly enjoy it.

While im on a rant, I was so stoked for this party that I missed watching the UFC ppv live. So i went to go pick it up the next day in ransomville. On my way back i stopped at the bar formerly known as ed's in middleport. They are known for having the greatest wings known to man. I am very happy to report that although the joint is now known as ponys, the wings are the same. So that is tremendous news for all you wing fans out there.

Now for the bloodletting....

At work i signed up for a simple blood donation which took place yesterday. I go in, get ready to do it and they ask if i wanna make a double donation. I tell them fuck yes i do, so they rigged me up to this machine which actually just collects the RED blood cells. Essentially they stuck me and took the blood but this machine seperates the red cells from my plasma. When they are done seperating, they actually put the plasma back into my body, which i thought was cool and ridiculous because i didnt know such a thing was possible. Rinse, repeat and yesterday i became a double donor on the same day of a whole bunch of red cells.

If you have never donated blood before you probably should, its virtually painless and unless you are a complete wuss when it comes to needles or pass out pretty easily, its something you should do at least once. My experience yesterday was so painless that i told the red cross lady that i felt ripped off because i didnt feel anything. So yeah, go do it... help save a life, or in my case, two.

I got an interesting call today on the answering machine. It was the DDSO, or state job helping developmentally diabled people. I took the civil service for this thing like over a year ago and they called today. Now most of you know i should be going to North Carolina in rather short order but if the personnel department is going to offer me a job, ill have some serious soul searching to do, because this is a state job with state pay and state benefits. Basically i'd have to be a moron not to take it if thats the case, or i am really really really stubborn. We all know im a bit of both so we'll have to see what shakes out. It would be hard for me to turn my back on nearly 30 grand a year to start but i guess we'll see what happens. One way or another, i guess ill call to see what the fuck they wanted. Who knows, it could be to tell me im a flaming douche nozzle, we dont know at this point.

Thats enough for now, heres your random shit:

Quote of the night: "We should not expect from others what we cannot do ourselves"

2nd Quote of the night: "People who say leisure like it rhymes with treasure should be forced to ingest aardvark shit until they agree to say it correctly" - Jim Norton

Movie of the night: Grandma's Boy - This is an adam sandler produced flick starring all his friends like always. This movie had numerous laugh out loud parts which need to be watched. My favorite part is when his grandma has him doing chores and he is vacuuming under the couch only to find 3 dead and decaying cats!

Song of the night: Rotten Strawberries by Factory 81
(from the liner notes, not the lyrics)

Rotten Strawberries
He ran fast with every ounce of life he had, as the girl made her way into the street. All at once, images flashed through his mind. The day that he crumbled, his clothes tattered and stained. The day he saw the apocalypse, he knew the world was going to end: when & how. He recalled the sacrifices. Everything he had, he gave away. Everything he had done was for everyone who crossed his path. The only thing he had ever known was to help others, but not himself. He remembered her face as he had seen it many times before and all the moments, she and her friends laughed and teased him. Now homeless and youthless, they never knew what he truly was, for they could only see him as the butt of their jokes and a source of cruel entertainment. Now that will change and he will not know it will change, for the one thing he never learned was self love and respect. As he pushed her with all of the life left in him, thrashing her against the ground, she tumbled towards the curb looking back in anger to see what did this to her. She heard the screech of tires ring out as his body was slammed against a speeding BMW. He died never knowing a kind word, or a friendly face. Hating himself as he thought others did (and some did), he did all within his simple mind and power to earn their love or at least a smile. He died never knowing either one.

Happy 2nd birthday Peanut (tomorrow), you're uncle shawn loves you.

OUT

Stew

Picture of the night: Rashad Evans

Didnt see that coming...

Well, we're rapidly nearing the end of June and the turnout this month has been fantastic. Several hundred of you wonderful people have tuned into the madness that is my life and im happy you are willing to let me share my shenanigans with you.

Whats been going on lately:

The world cup is going on, the united states were eliminated quick, which proves a few things in regards to this country's feelings on the world cup:

1) what the fuck is the world cup
2) We suck at soccer
3) nobody gives a fuck about soccer. I certainly dont.

Today was danny's birthday, happy 19 you fucking prick... i hope you had a good time getting schlocked last night. That fucking absinthe. Tom is the man!

I went swimming at Greg's house the other day even though he's in fucking florida. He's prolly pissed but it was tremendous. He's doing good apparently, courting women around and muffins, OH MUFFINS!...

I was privy to seeing several people i hadnt talked to in a long long time today. Was good to catch up with most of them. But as they sometimes say, distance makes the heart grow fonder.

Speaking of distance, ima be outta here still prolly by the beginning of august, so get your Stew time in. Once i'm gone, be prepared to either call me when i get a cell or drive six hundred miles. I am getting a pool table, so this should be good.

Things that are coming up:
1) Bob's grad party, cant wait
2) ROH in Cleveland in late July
3) More fun car payments
4) Lots of SOCO and COKE
5) More of me dancing like a maniac
6) Lots and lots of UFC and MMA
7) Other crap i keep forgetting

I'd like to keep talking but im wicked tired and some things about really naive people are better left unsaid.

Random Crap:

Album of the moment: Jim Norton's comedy album "Trinkets I own made from Gorilla hands" - FanFucking-tastic comedy album. Here is his disclaimer for the album on his website http://www.eatabullet.com/ - "WARNING: This CD contains mean spirited humor and some filthy language. If you're offended by such things, please don't waste your money here; use the cash as a downpayment on a pistol to blow your brains out with."
Cant hate a guy for speaking his mind.

Quote of the night: "Fate has me highly skilled and loaded with talent!" - Vince Vaughn

Song of the night: "Bombtrack" - Rage Against The Machine

Hey yo, it's just another bombtrack...yeah!
It goes a-1, 2, 3...

Hey yo, it's just another bombtrack
And suckas be thinkin' that they can fade this
But I'm gonna drop it at a higher level
'Cause I'm inclined to stoop down
Hand out some beat-downs
Cold runna train on punk ho's that
Think they run the game

But I learned to burn that bridge and delete
Those who compete...at a level that's obsolete
Instead I warm my hands upon the flames of the flag
As I recall our downfall
And the business that burned us all
See through the news and the views that twist reality

Enough
I call the bluff
Fuck Manifest destiny

Landlords and power whores
On my people they took turns
Dispute the suits I ignite
And then watch 'em burn

With the thoughts from a militant mind
Hardline, hardline after hardline

Landlords and power whores
On my people they took turns
Dispute the suits I ignite
And then watch 'em burn

Burn, burn, yes ya gonna burn
Burn, burn, yes ya gonna burn

It goes a-1, 2, 3
Another funky radical bombtrack
Started as a sketch in my notebook
And now dope hooks make punks take another look
My thoughts ya hear and ya begin to fear
That ya card will get pulled if ya interfere

With the thoughts from a militant mind
Hardline, hardline after hardline

Landlords and power whores
On my people they took turns
Dispute the suits I ignite
And then watch 'em burn

Burn, burn, yes ya gonna burn
Burn, burn, yes ya gonna burn
Burn!

That'll do pig... later

Shawn

Picture of the night: lil Jimmy Norton

Jeez, its June... what the hell

Been slacking lately, i apologize for the inconvience

a few hundred of you joined me for last months escapades, so lets see if we can top that this month, even with the late start.

So how has everyone been doing? I am allright like usual. Lets get up to speed.

Firstly the sabres finally fizzled in the playoffs after injuring about half their team. It was a great run and our squad of no namers will be back next year. Sorry i had to remind everyone of that. Just figured i'd cover all basis.

My Dallas Mavericks are in the NBA finals, yeah nobody likes basketball but who cares. I love the Mavs owner Mark Cuban, the dude is fucking off his rocker and really rich. He runs on the court to yell at refs, gets fined thousands of dollars. One time this lunatic said the nba refs werent even qualified to work at dairy queen. So he worked at dairy queen for a day and challenged the refs to show up. Anyways they won tonight and lead the finals 1 game to none over the miami heat.

Did anyone hear about the two 21 year old idiots who killed themselves by climbing into a ginormous helium balloon. I guess the balloon was there to promote some condo that had some housing available. What were these people thinking? Lets climb into a fucking huge balloon that contains poisonous gas! Real smart. What was funnier was how the girls mother tried to rationalize it to the media, "you know how kids like to have fun". I say your daughter died because shes a fucking idiot. The dumbest way to die... ever!

Lets see... they bombed the shit out of that one terrorist dude in iraq, el fuamatuma'afala or whatever his name was. The thing i loved about the whole ordeal is how the government had to make a big fucking picture of the dudes rotting corpse and put it in this BEAUTIFUL frame to show everyone. What the fuck. Lets frame a gigantic picture of a dead terrorist body and show it to EVERYONE and be happy and proud about it. Dont get me wrong, i hate terrorists just as much as the next guy, but what the fuck is George W. thinking. Who wants to see a dead corpse and cheer it.

Went to the bar again last friday, it was once again tremendous. I drove the Stewstang so i stayed mostly sober. I'm not going to mess that up, so ill keep it sober. Erik got totally slowwshed and we danced with women and i got kissed by two of them. I am a ridiculous pimp.

Speaking of being a ridiculous pimp, i got a new nametag yesterday. If you know me, you know that i collect random nametags and wear them from time to time (not so much recently, sadly). Anyways this nametag SCROLLS like those big ones you see in stores and shit. I can make it say whatever the fuck i want! Currenly the lineup goes like this:

Message 1: Hello, My name is Stew
Message 2: The Patriot of good choice!
Message 3: Buy me a drink!
Message 4: Stew is a beautiful man

It holds 2 more messages too for a total of six! Each message can be like 300 characters each, so basically i can write my entire life story on this thing. Check this out:

Yeah so thats about enough fun for now, heres your random crap of the night:

Movie of the night: The Breakup - Featuring Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston. Danny and I went to see this the other day out of sheer boredom and this movie was fucking funny. It really is how relationships go sometimes and Vince delivers some HILARIOUS lines. Aniston gets her hedges trimmed if you know what i mean and you get to see her ever aging ass if you dig that kinda thing. Go see it, was good. I promise.

Quote of the Night: "Doing little things well is a step towards doing big things better."

Song of the night: "The Nurse Who Loved Me" - A Perfect Circle
"The Nurse Who Loved Me"

Say hello to the rug's topography
It holds quite a lot of interest with your face down on it
Say hello to the shrinking in your head
You can't see it but you know its there so don't neglect it

I'm taking her home with me all dressed in white
She's got everything I need pharmacy keys
She's falling hard for me I can see it in her eyes
She acts just like a nurse with all the other guys

Say hello to all the apples on the ground
They were once in your eyes but you sneezed them out while sleeping
Say hello to everything you've left behind
It's even more a part of your life now that you can't touch it

I'm taking her home with me all dressed in white
She's got everything I need some pills in a little cup
She's falling hard for me I can see it in her eyes
She acts just like a nurse with all the other guys

Say hello to the rugs topography...

Thats about it for the night... go get em turkey!

Stew, with scrolling nametag!

Picture of the night: Me and my arcade game!

getcya fade on

So i was at a bar tonight and I was drinking *GASP!*

Some really hot chick I had cell biology with was there and we danced it up and she kissed me. Booyah. I cant be doing that bad.

Gregorio and Turkey and I jumped around and danced like crazy mofos. Man i love the Hotel.

Lets see, what happened recently.... i took books back and got 89 dollars... so college is done. Weee! I went bowling last weekend and ah yes, paintball.

I had one too many soco and cokes tonight!

Anyways played some paintball last weekend at turkey's house. Was a good time, i shot some dudes, some dudes shot me. I get hit once and then i get plastered with about 18 more shots each time. Its fun. Then i did about 5 danger rolls down a hill for no apparent reason and got all scarred and charred. So lets just say come monday i was pretty sore. Was a good time however and i think i might get some paintball going tomorrow with the guys. Eric's sister stacy is actually pretty good so i want her on my team. It will be fun to hit greg right in the gut again with a paintball.

The buffalo sabres are in the conference finals and they honestly have a good chance at winning it all. i cant even begin to fathom the impact that a major sports win would have on the area. We've been waiting years and years and years to see it happen and i think it'd get Western NY a boost to have something good like that happen. So heres to you buffalo sabres, kick some carolina ass and bring home some cupage.

Now before you get pissed and say i drink too much, then realize that i rarely drink at all. Thank you. This message paid for by friends of southern comfort and coke.

Lets do something. Get ahold of me, regardless of who you are, and lets go do something. My time around here is going to be limited soon so you and i... lets hang. Movies, drive in, dinner i dont care.

Heres some random shit of the night:

TV show on dvd of the night: Boy Meets World. I think if i could watch any show for the rest of my life it'd be boy meets world. It reminds me that no matter how old you are, its sooooo very easy to get into trouble. But it also makes me realize how easy it is to get out of the trouble you are in. Being honest with yourselves and others is the key to being happy and living the straight and narrow. A lot of people pretend to live their feelings. So few actually do.

Quote of the night: "When you are squeezed, what comes out is what is inside" - Fortune Cookie
Lucky Numbers: 38, 17, 9, 22, 43, 2

Song of the night: "Vicarious" - Tool

Eye on the TV
'cause tragedy thrills me
Whatever flavor
It happens to be

Like:
"Killed by the husband"
"Drowned by the ocean"
"Shot by his own son"
"She used the poison in his tea"
he kissed her goodbye
That's my kind of story
It's no fun til someone dies

Don't look me at like
I am a monster
Frown out your one face
But with the other
Stare like a junkie
Into the TV
Stare like a zombie
While the mother, holds her child
Watches him die
Hands to the sky cryin,
"Why, oh why?"

Cause I need to watch things die
From a distance
Vicariously, I
Live while the whole world dies
You all need it too - don't lie.

Why can't we just admit it?
Why can't we just admit it?
We won't give pause until the blood is flowin'
Neither the brave nor bold
Will write us the story so
We won't give pause until the blood is flowin'

I need to watch things die
From a good safe distance
Vicariously, I
Live while the whole world dies
You all feel the same so
Why can't we just admit it?

Blood like rain fallin' down
Drown on grave and ground

Part vampire
Part warrior
Carnivore and voyeur
Still have the
transmittal sing
to the death rattle

La, la, la, la, la, la, la-LIE

Incredulous at best
Your desire to believe in
Angels in the hearts of men.
But pull your head on out
Your head please and give a listen
Shouldn't have to say it all again

The universe is hostile
So impersonal
Devour to survive
So it is, so it's always been ...

We all feed on tragedy
It's like blood to a vampire

Vicariously, I
Live while the whole world dies
Much better you than I.

Night Gang,

Shawn

Picture of the night:

Cinco de Mayo

Today is Jeff Chapman's birthday, wish him a happy 20 something. (five or six?)

Now thats out of the way, how've you all been? I'm fan-fucking-tastic and things are just getting better from here.

Shit that has happened recently:

I got REALLY REALLY liquored up last weekend in Romulus. Now at this point you're probably thinking Pear and I went out to the bar but I actually went out with my sister in law JOINK MCGOINK! There is this bar like RIGHT BEHIND pear's joint which is apparently part of a converted army base or some shit. Anyways they gave me the biggest friggin Soco and Coke i ever fucking had. Basically I went to try this atomic drink they sell but some kid the night before apparently had to go to the hospital because of it so they wouldnt serve me one. Instead janielle got me a FOUR DOLLAR long island iced tea. It was OVER from there. I sucked those 2 drinks down in 20 minutes then had me another Long Island right after. Needless to say i was ROCKED off my ass and spent less than 10 bucks.

Apparently Janielle thinks she's good at darts or something and ill admit she kicked my ass 4 times in a row, but once the booze and bocevis juices were flowin, i kicked her ass in the last game in my drunken stupor! At one point she nearly took my eye out with a dart when she whipped them at my face. Yeah i didnt forget about that. Pear, she tried taking my eyes out.

Basically i just kinda drove an hour and a half and showed up there, cause i wanted to see the peanut. Its been awhile since i last saw her and figured i was due. That kid is fricken amazing, she's like... smarter than pear already.

what else:

I got Super Mario Bros. Super show on dvd! This old school shit is classico and is hilarious to watch. Especially considering Captain Lou Albano is dancing throughout the show.

The new Tool album came out this week. I jacked it off the net at pears last week so that saved me 13 bucks. Its a pretty nifty album and I reccomend it to you kids.

School is almost finished for the semester. I only took two classes but ripped ass and finished my final papers on monday. So ill be happier when that is over although i really didnt do jack shit all semester.

So i go into work monday and am told that i was chosen employee of the month. My guess is that my name got picked out of a hat or something. One way or another i get a sweet assed parking spot for the stang whenever i go to work.

Speaking of the stang, i put my new vanity plates on it last night. So now im stylin and profilin. Last week i got the XM Satellite radio hooked up and thats a hoot lemme tell you. Imagine you can listen to any type of music any time you want. There are like 4 or 5 comedy channels too which fits my jive. Greg and i went to geneseo the other day and we got to hear Dice on the radio which is always a super bonus program. OHHHHH!

Went to lazertron a few weeks ago with a whole mess of people. Half of which i didnt know. We all had a riot basically. Since greg cant kill me in real life, he loved taking it out on me with friggin lazer guns. They added a top part since the last time i was there a few years back. It made a whole new element to the game. That was a good time and hopefully ill go back soon.

Well thats enough out of me for now, lets go to the drive in or something. k?

Heres you're random shit:

Random quote of the night: Pessimism never won any battle

Movie of the Night: Unforgivable Blackness - The rise and fall of Jack Johnson: This is a PBS documentary by Ken Burns and it basically tells the life story of Jack Johnson, the first black heavyweight boxing champion of the world. It tells about how he didnt give a shit about what others said and did his own thing. It goes on to explain how a racist america basically tried to get the belt off of him when they got him for some bogus charge dealing with inter-racial relations. He fled the country and eventually served time for his "crime". Anyways its a real interesting documentary and ill reccomend it to anyone.

Song of the night: "Lateralus" - Tool

"Lateralus"

Black then white are all I see in my infancy.
red and yellow then came to be, reaching out to me.
lets me see.
As below, so above and beyond, I imagine
drawn beyond the lines of reason.
Push the envelope. Watch it bend.

Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind.
Withering my intuition, missing opportunities and I must
Feed my will to feel my moment drawing way outside the lines.

Black then white are all I see in my infancy.
red and yellow then came to be, reaching out to me.
lets me see there is so much more
and beckons me to look through to these infinite possibilities.
As below, so above and beyond, I imagine
drawn outside the lines of reason.
Push the envelope. Watch it bend.

Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind.
Withering my intuition leaving all these opportunities behind.

Feed my will to feel this moment urging me to cross the line.
Reaching out to embrace the random.
Reaching out to embrace whatever may come.

I embrace my desire to
feel the rhythm, to feel connected
enough to step aside and weep like a widow
to feel inspired, to fathom the power,
to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain,
to swing on the spiral
of our divinity and still be a human.

With my feet upon the ground I lose myself
between the sounds and open wide to suck it in,
I feel it move across my skin.
I'm reaching up and reaching out,
I'm reaching for the random or what ever will bewilder me.
And following our will and wind we may just go where no one's been.
We'll ride the spiral to the end and may just go where no one's been.

Spiral out. Keep going, going...

Night gang, leave a message

Stew

Picture of the night: WOW... analyzed below

So i did a random internet search for the word "funny midget". Now i dont know if you know a midget or if you like or hate them. I just think they are funny and this picture is no exception. But once i found this picture and looked at it, theres a few pressing questions i have. They are as follows:

1) WHERE the fuck does a midget get leather accessories like that?
2) WHY is this midget rocking a mullet?
3) What the fuck is he holding in his left hand? a frigging lobster?
4) HOW old are those shoes he's wearing?
5) IS he wearing daisy dukes?

ENOUGH about the midget, theres other shit going on in this picture. I ask the following:
1) WHY is that security guard type guy wearing his ridiculous yellow hat like he's from south philadelphia?
2) WHAT THE FUCK is up with that guy thats standing next to the midget?
2a) DOES he think he's going to see Brian Adams and Foreigner at the Meadowlands like its 1983?
2b) CHUCK TAYLOR's and spandex DONT MIX!
2c) WHY THE FUCK is he wearing a BELT with SPANDEX BIKER SHORTS? bwahahahah
2d) Did that guy and the midget get their vests at the same place? They are the same size!
2e) IS that a fucking PURPLE BONG hooked to his belt?
2f) ARE his sunglasses tucked into his REVERSE FUCKING HALF SHIRT?

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!

The White Pony

Neato gang!

I've been majorly slacking around here but for good reason, ive been pretty busy actually. Between going to work, college and writing sports and leisure style, there really hasnt been much time for much else.

So consider yourselves lucky im even posting this now.

You've heard me yack back and forth about how i need a new car, how the stewmina is getting old and how crappily the brakes work and how it pretty much sucks. Well i traded it in for a new ride (well gave it to danny anyways), a FUCKING MUSTANG. Yeah so basically i got a dream car since mustangs to me are like a cadillac to my grandfather. I was looking at a friggin lumina again and was thinking about a concorde but then i saw this and immediately went to test drive that shit. I far exceeded my car expectations.

Anyways to make a long story short, half the car is paid off, the other half i got a loan at GVTA for. They hooked me the FUCK up. For a dude that had zero for a credit rating they gave me the dough i needed without a cosigner and a RETARDED interest rate to boot. I reccomend those folks, they whip some serious asshockey.
Now all i gots to do is wait for my registration to come in and ill order my custom Whitepny license plate. Hopefully ill get that loan paid off asap because i think i am headed to delicious North Carolina sometime this summer. (check the end of the journal for a picture of me and my white pony).

I think its about time for a change, so why not go where the weather is better, the women are hotter and the jobs flow like salmon swimming along the capestrano. We'll see how that shakes out but i wanna get a really good chuck of this car paid off. I have this fucking disease in my brain that lets me know that i hate to owe anybody anything. So I'm going to take care of that the best i can then go from there. My insurance is actually more than my car payment which is fucking hilarious. I have full coverage plus on this beast so bring on the oncoming traffic!

Other than that, its the same ol shit different day. Tying up loose ends, and creating more loose ends to tie up. I suppose in a way that life is exactly about just that. I guess ive been pretty sparse lately with some things but i guess its what to expect when life decides to keep throwing curve balls at you. One way or another however, i think im on the right track with things.

Speaking about same shit different day, ive made a few observations recently. Its how people keep their lives so stagnant. I think back to they way some people were a few years ago and look at them today. They are the same fucking person. Life is about learning and evolution. Who the fuck wants to remain the same now and forever. There is a whole world out there waiting to be messed with and learned from, you just need to get out there and tame that bitch. Leave your ass in the same lame town your whole life, satisfaction level will be at a premium when you look back and think about all that could have been.

Normally this is the part of the journal when i talk about sports or something to bore your ass off but ill save you the displeasure thsi time and just say that watching ufc is becoming more and more fun.

Here is your random shit and be sure to check out http://www.sportsandleisuremag.com

Quote of the night: "Leaders are like eagles, they dont flock... you find them one at a time"

Movie of the moment: V for Vendetta - i cant explain how fucking awesome this movie was, please go watch it. Please

Song of the night: "Passive" - A Perfect Circle

"Passive"

“Dead as dead can be,” my doctor tells me
But I just can’t believe him, ever the optimistic one
I’m sure of your ability to become my perfect enemy
Wake up and face me, don’t play dead cause maybe
Someday I will walk away and say, “You disappoint me,”
Maybe you’re better off this way

Leaning over you here, cold and catatonic
I catch a brief reflection of what you could and might have been
It's your right and your ability
To become…my perfect enemy…

Wake up (we'll catch you) and face me (come one now),
Don’t play dead (don't play dead)
Cause maybe (because maybe)
Someday I’ll (someday I'll) walk away and say, “You disappoint me,”
Maybe you’re better off this way

Maybe you’re better off this way
Maybe you’re better off this way
Maybe you’re better off this way
You’re better of this; you’re better off this;
Maybe you’re better off!

Wake up (can't you) and face me (come on now),
Don’t play dead (don't play dead)
Cause maybe (because maybe)
Someday I’ll (someday I'll) walk away and say, “You fucking disappoint me!”
Maybe you’re better off this way

Go ahead and play dead
I know that you can hear this
Go ahead and play dead
Why can't you turn and face me?
Why can't you turn and face me?
Why can't you turn and face me?
Why can't you turn and face me?
You fucking disappoint me!

Passive aggressive bullshit

Hope that was good enough for you kids, leave a message or a comment.

Show some love

Shawn

ALAS, picture of the moment, taken today: Me and my White Pony

Happy Jack

Hey gang, whats new and exciting? oh wait, you arent typing this, i am. Okay shawn, whats new and exciting?

absolutely nothing!

Its almost warm again yay! It went from 60 degrees yesterday to 20 something today and it snowed more. I was super pumped over that, especially considering i barely have brakes on my car. I am actually looking at getting a new one relatively soon. Im scoping out this 99 lumina and its pretty neat. We'll see what happens though. I got a few grand kicking around and have some options.

Other than that, its working and school on the side and pretty much the same ol.

Some dude got busted for trying to counterfit a BILLION DOLLAR BILL. yeah, some jackass tried doing this. Here, check this link: http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060315/us_nm/billion_dc

Here is an epic story about how beck and i went on a mission to find the movie OVER THE TOP. I might have shared the same story previously but he wrote this up and i edited and revised it, so here is the final product.

Alright kids, its story time. I am pulling this one from the Stew and Beck archive. It actually wasn't that long ago, like a few months but regardless it is a story for the ages. It all started with one of the greatest movies of all time, no not the bridges of Madison county. It was none other than Over the Top, starring Sylvester Stallone. It is a LEGENDARY film which combines a rough and tumble custody battle with ARM WRESTLING. Now for you people that live in the western NY area, you will appreciate the great lengths that we went to find this movie. It all started one day in the little town of Silver Springs, NY. It was Zach, Stew and myself at Zach's house, well we started talking about this movie and determined that it was easily one of the greatest of all time. So we decided that we would take a short trip over to Geneseo to check out the new Wal-Mart Super center over there, we figured that they would have to have, it, with the size of that place there isn't really much that they don't have. Seriously, this place doesn't look like a Wal-Mart, its a freakin castle. Its crazy, my mom told me that my uncle went in there and he had to leave cause he couldn't walk the whole thing, he got about half way through the store and had to turn around and go back out. So anyways, we took the short 25 min. drive to geneseo to try to find this movie. We get there and look around, and its nowhere to be found. So of all the crap that they have for sale in this place, they don't have a single copy of Over the Top. This is where the story gets good, it was myself and Stew, standing in the middle of what I like to call the Soup, short for super center. So there we were standing in the middle of the soup, with a decision to be made. You see earlier that day, Stew had said that he knew for a fact that they had this movie for sale in a little place called Best Buy in the small town of Rochester. I was a little skeptical because of a couple reasons, you see I had not yet received my debit card from the bank, so all I had was my checkbook, and being that it was a Saturday afternoon all the banks were closed, so I really didn't have any cash on me, and on top of that, I was hurting for gas at the time. But Stew, oh Stew, he looked me in the eyes, and then did the thing where he pointed at his eyes and then pointed to me. And it was then and only then that I realized that we would not return in failure, we would find a way to get to Rochester, oh yes we would.

Now here's where the story gets really interesting. You see in my travels, I had discovered that Wal-Mart will take checks and they allow you to write them for over the amount of whatever you are buying. Well this took precise engineering, due to the fact that they only allowed it for $20 over, and that just wasn't enough. I needed money for gas, but also for the movie when we finally found it, and I say when we found it, cause there was no way that we were going back defeated, we had already come to far to accept defeat. So anyways, on to the shenanigans that I pulled out to get this money. I first had to decide what I was going to get in order to write the first check out. I was walking around and I figured the most logical thing would be to get something from the food department. So I was walking around and what did I see, the biggest tower of shells and cheddar I had ever seen, I mean this massive tower must have been standing at least 80 feet tall, or maybe it was 4 feet counting the table that it was sitting on, I am not sure. But anyways that doesn't matter, what does matter is that not only do I love me some shells and cheddar, but they were selling them 2 boxes for get this, only $3. Is that a deal or what, that's what I thought as well. So I found my first purchase, I took it through the line, wrote the check and got my $20. Just playing it cool, after the transaction I passed the shells off to Stew who had strategically placed himself near the exit. So he went to the car, and I went back in, looking for round 2. I went back to the food section looking for my next purchase, I was so confused though, I had no idea what to get. I was looking around, lost as hell when I saw it. It was glowing and had almost like a halo around it. It was a giant stick of pepperoni. And you all may be thinking, what's the big deal about a stick of pepperonis? Could you possibly think of something more random outside of a used fire extinguisher? Well don't you worry, it will come into play later in this epic adventure. Anyways back to the story, I picked up this huge stick of pepperoni, and took it to the cash register, I didn't want them to know that I was just trying to weasel some money so I had to make sure that I was far enough away from the last cashier that I went to so that they wouldn't notice me. Luckily this Wal-Mart is so big that you could park like 6 B-52's inside it. So I went all the way to the other end to use a register down there. I escaped unscathed, $40 richer, and none the wiser.

So we were off to Rochester, a drive which had its obstacles, like me never having driven there before and most notably when we finally got to Best Buy. I had gotten into the turning lane to make a left hand turn, and had noticed that there was a car coming in the opposite direction but I figured I would have enough time to make the turn safely, so I went for it. I made my turn but kind of cut it short, as I was making the turn, I noticed a car coming straight at me trying to leave the parking lot, so I hit my brakes to avoid missing the car leaving the parking lot, and missed hitting it head on by mere inches, at the same time I looked out my passenger side window where stew was sitting and saw another car coming right at me. This speeding rocket car had to have been doing at least 300mph, ok, I exaggerated again, he was probably doing like 40 but anyways my life flashed before my eyes as he missed us by inches as well. So we finally pulled into the parking lot and prepared ourselves for the awesomeness that was to come. I don't know about Stew but sitting in the car, having already forgotten that we just almost died, I said a prayer to myself hoping that we would find this movie inside. So we had our game plan, which was to hit this place like a storm and not leave until we had the movie. We walked in and it was like slow motion. The wind was blowing through our hair and all that, and the people were like diving out of our way cause they knew. They knew that we were on an epic quest, and would be stopped by no one. We stormed through the store like a hurricane, with mass destruction laying behind us, but alls well that ends well, we found it. We found a copy of Over the Top. Now that I think about it, they had around 77 copies of it. We didn’t let that take away from the greatness of completing the mission at hand. At this point we walked past all the rubble that we had caused when we walked in, and returned to the car. Now one thing that I forgot to mention is that we had Zach on standby the whole time, just incase anything happened such as Optimus Prime jumping out of a bush and attacking us, cause we could handle pretty much anything but I mean come on, OPTIMUS PRIME. I shutter to even think of it. Well we returned to the car, without encountering Prime, thank god. And I figured it would be a good idea to let Zach know that we had the DVD in our possession. So I sent him a top secret text message at the advice of Stew, saying only, "the eagle has landed". From there we returned home with the power of Stallone and his reverse mesh trucker cap from 1977 protecting us, and had no further problems. Once we got in the car and everything was secure, it was time to enjoy the spoils. Then and there we toasted by having a gigantic fucking piece of pepperoni that I cut with my non-swiss style military knife. The day was ours.

AH, what a classic.

Peter Tomarken, host of one of my favorite 80's gameshows "press your luck" died in a plane crash the other day, which is pretty sad. Those fucking whammys finally caught up to him. He was the pilot of the plane when it crashed. Sucks...

Been reading a new book i got on amazon.com called "The Toughest Man Alive... true and incredible story of a sadistic bastard" by Gene LeBell

Gene Lebell is a judo master, a pro wrestler and a hollwood stuntman and movie star. I bought the book cause he is a very interesting guy and has lots of stories. He has crossed paths with the greatest of all time. People like Muhammad Ali, Sylvester Stallone, Elvis, Frank Sinatra, Bruce Lee and the immortal Chuck Norris amongst others. One day his judo gi (uniform) got washed and dyed pink and he had to wear it anyways. He's so badass that wearing a pink gi became his trademark. He was a 2 time national judo champion and is so revered that even chuck norris wont mess with him.

from the forward written by chuck norris: "One thing i would never want to do is get Gene mad. Ive seen him mad one time in 35 years. It was at the Olympic Auditorium and some wrester came in who had been drinking and he got into Gene's mother's face and got pretty obnoxious. I looked at Gene and his face turned red. Gene grabbed the guy who weighed 250 lbs and picked him up over his head and threw him out on main street. I knew then that i would never want to get Gene mad at me." - Chuck Norris

So yeah, Gene Lebell is a badass mofo and not even chuck norris would want to tangle with him. Gene is in his 70's and is still as wiley as ever. Great book, cant wait to finish it in the next few days.

That is about the best update you're going to get.

Quote of the Night: "A closed mouth catches no foot" - Gene Lebell

Here is your random shit of the night:

Song of the night: Behind Blue Eyes - The Who

"Behind Blue Eyes"
No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes

No one knows what it's like
To be hated
To be fated
To telling only lies

But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be

I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

No one knows what it's like
To feel these feelings
Like I do
And I blame you

No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through

But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be

I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

When my fist clenches, crack it open
Before I use it and lose my cool
When I smile, tell me some bad news
Before I laugh and act like a fool

If I swallow anything evil
Put your finger down my throat
If I shiver, please give me a blanket
Keep me warm, let me wear your coat

No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes

Night gang, show some love

Shawn

Picture of the night: Judo Gene Lebell, kicking more ass in his 70's then you did as a 3rd grader!

So, I am 23 Now

Big Deal.

Beck was right though, 22 is the most useless age ever, so I'm glad to be past that.

Birthdays are always fun because they show you who really gives a shit. If you dont hear from someone on your birthday... could be a friend or relative, that means one of 3 things...

1) they forgot
2) they are incompetent
3) they completely dont give a fuck about you

Lets just say I was somewhat suprised at the results I got today. Truthfully however, a birthday to me is just another day. Nothing was different today than any other. I went to work, I came home. I understand if people are busy, But dont call me a fucking asshole this year if you dont hear from me.

To those who did say something, thank you very much. Makes me feel like someone cares.

Now that we're past that fun here is a conversation between me and Beck. We were discussing what we wanted to do with ourselves. We both agreed we had no fucking clue but here it is...This is ridiculous:

ShatteredSoul14 (10:14:46 PM): what are you going to do napoleon
ShatteredSoul14 (10:14:54 PM): ::gives setup::
beck241918 (10:16:05 PM): god, idiot. It depends where I am, if the keep me here for 5 more years I probobly will be too pissed off to want to stay. Now bring me my flippin chapstick
ShatteredSoul14 (10:16:59 PM): WRONG
ShatteredSoul14 (10:17:02 PM): the correct answer was
ShatteredSoul14 (10:17:15 PM): "WHATEVER I WANT.... GOSH!"
beck241918 (10:17:37 PM): touche salesman
ShatteredSoul14 (10:19:21 PM): IM A CADDY
beck241918 (10:20:14 PM): that's what you should do, I hear at a good country club, those guys can make a shitload of money, plus its a kickass job
ShatteredSoul14 (10:20:53 PM): i dont wanna walk around all day watching golf in hot weather
ShatteredSoul14 (10:21:03 PM): whaddya drunk
beck241918 (10:21:27 PM): they have golf carts
beck241918(10:22:02 PM): just do the fat guys then they will have to take the cart out
beck241918 (10:22:15 PM): and you can drive them and give them their clubs
beck241918 (10:22:36 PM): or you could open up your own porn shop
ShatteredSoul14 (10:22:48 PM): im more likely to do the later
beck241918 (10:23:29 PM): and you could call it TGIFuckme in the ass
ShatteredSoul14 (10:24:43 PM): hell yes i would
beck241918 (10:26:04 PM): or you could call it The Motorboat, just to kind of fuck with people, and you could have half a boat attached to the front of the store and then people walk in expecting to buy their boat accessories and they see 4 stories of porn, its the perfect getaway for married guys, they just look at their wives and say hey Im going down to The Motorboat to look at some boating accessories
beck241918 (10:26:32 PM): that's fucking perfect
ShatteredSoul14 (10:27:06 PM): haha
ShatteredSoul14 (10:27:15 PM): what woman is going to go look for motorboat parts
ShatteredSoul14 (10:27:18 PM): and accessories
ShatteredSoul14 (10:27:27 PM): classic
ShatteredSoul14(10:27:37 PM): like an ice cream sandwich
beck241918 (10:28:00 PM): exactly, and you can have little viewing booths and charge money for them, fuck what am I doing in the military, I need to be on top of that shit
ShatteredSoul14 (10:28:44 PM): imagine a porn place in bliss
ShatteredSoul14 (10:28:52 PM): we'd be hundredaires
ShatteredSoul14 (10:29:04 PM): all our porn should be downloaded
ShatteredSoul14 (10:29:14 PM): its a cost cutting measure
beck241918 (10:30:41 PM): fuckin right it is, we could run it out of an abandoned house, just fix it up a little bit, we could put like maybe $500 into creating this and make at least 1.5 times that amount in profits, we can use candles to set the mood, and that way we won't have to pay electricity
beck241918 (10:30:48 PM): its all coming together
ShatteredSoul14 (10:31:23 PM): and instead of lube
ShatteredSoul14 (10:31:32 PM): we'll hand out sandwich bags of used MOTOR OIL
beck241918 (10:32:39 PM): and if you buy 5 bags of Motolube, you get a free peanutbutter sangwich
ShatteredSoul14: you do realize im going to put that porn conversation in my journal now right?
beck241918: hell yes you are
beck241918: make sure you tell everyone that we have already patented the idea so noone who reads it decides to steal the idea
ShatteredSoul14: consider it done

Hope you liked that. That pretty much summerizes any conversation between Beck and I. We had another good one the other night where we argued over who would win in a fight. Lenny Dykstra or Ricky the Dragon Steamboat. He argued that since Dykstra was a baseball player he could use a bat and that GIGANTIC wad of CHAW that was always in his mouth. I stated that since Steamboat's last name is Steamboat, he can use one. I forgot the conclusion we came to but I know it involved whales or bombs or nuclear weapons in some way.

So now that you're wicked bored from reading this by now, here is your random shit of the night:

Quote of the night: "Don't judge people for who they are, judge them for who they are to you"

Movie of the night: Dirty Deeds - found this gem at hollywood video and its produced by todd zeile and jason "i admitted to doing sterioids without ever admitting it" Giambi. This movie is one of those high school dare type movies and was fucking hilarious. So go find it, or bum a copy off of me... whatever.

Song of the night: "A Stranger" by A Perfect Circle

"A Stranger"

Cast the calming apple
Up and over satellites
To draw out the timid wild one
To convince you it's alright
And I listen for the whisper
Of your sweet insanity while I formulate
Denials of your affect on me

You're a stranger
So what do I care
You vanish today
Not the first time I hear
All the lies

What am I to do with all this silence
Shy away, shy away phantom
Run away terrified child
Won't you move away you fucking tornado
I'm better off without you
Tearing my will down

Night kids,

Shawn

Picture of the day: Lenny Dykstra... couldnt find a Mets one, tragically.

tic tac toe

Hey everyone figured i'd pass along an update real quick since im in super slackmode.

Been doing good lately, keeping busy and staying the course. My birthday is next week... BIG DEAL.

Same ol same old lately, went to upstate with danny we hung out, went out with erik the other night as well which was a good time.

Pear sent me this funny link with the accompanying story:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060206/ap_on_fe_st/lobster_game

Arcade Claw Offers Live Lobster Prizes
SCARBOROUGH, Maine - You don't have to be a fisherman to catch lobsters anymore. At a neighborhood store in this Portland suburb — and at restaurants and bars in more than a dozen states — customers can plunk down $2 for a chance to catch their very own lobster using a mechanical claw in an arcade-style game.

The apparatus is a new version of the old-style amusement game where players put in a quarter or two in hopes of grabbing a stuffed animal. But instead of plush toys, the Love Maine Lobster Claw game has a water-filled tank full of lobsters.

When a lobster is caught, the restaurants cook it for free and serve it with side dishes.

So basically this is one of those goddamn claw games you play to get the stuffed animal prize, except there are LIVE LOBSTER in the tank. This story rules because not only have i played this game a very long time ago, but i have me playing it on DVD. We actually videotaped this crap and its hysterical. At one point i ask people if they'd like to donate to the vend-a-lobster association of america. Anyways, its a good time and Bathtub Billys in Rochester had one, maybe they still do. Giver a try, We called it the Vend-A-Lobster Challenge.

So I bought that new RAZOR everyone is talking about you know the one with NOT one, two, three, four but FIVE goddamn blades on it. The FUSION. I ended up getting the FUSION POWER which runs on a battery to get a closer shave. 2 blades are barely necessary let alone five, with another blade on the other side for trimming. Refills are wicked expensive but ah whale.... we'll see how this goes. 5 blades is overkill but so far so good.

I am going to go to the movies soon, its been awhile for me. Like... six months or so.

My first article for Sports and Leisure Magazine was published and i am very happy with the way it turned out. I got nearly a half of a page. I think it flows and reads pretty well. Check out my web teaser for it at http://www.sportsandleisuremag.com or pick one up at various places in the rochester area. Will have to see what im going to write about for March.

Thats about it for now, here is some random shit:

Move of the night: Waiting - this is on dvd now as of last week and is freakin hilarious. Be sure to check it out.

Advice of the night: Its becoming more evident to me that good things happen to good people and bad things happen to the not so good. I see it everywhere. Tragically, some of these people dont realize or understand that they are being "not so good". Makes me feel good that I am true to myself and know that good things are coming. Similarly, its funny to see the users and abusers suffer for the way they are. Cluelessness has many faces, none of which are wearing a smile.

Song of the night:
"Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start" by The Ataris

today was a good day.
I didn't even have to use my a.k.
at least I didn't get my heart broken anyway
wasting time in east new jersey.
guess I could tell you 'bout
the snow covered rooftops,
sunsets, shooting stars and picturesque backdrops.
or how I went and hung out at quick-stop
and pretended that I was in clerks.

sometimes you gotta stop and remember
that your not gonna live forever.
be young, think smart, stay true
and just follow your heart.

remember the times we watched "karate kid"
and memorized every line
skipped school and went to the arcade
hung out and played galaga all day.
stole a car and we drove to michigan.
600 miles with no destination.
except to get in the car and drive
and see where we'll end up.

sometimes you gotta stop and remember.
that your not gonna be young forever.
think smart, have fun, stay true
and don't ever grow up.

out of all I've learned in life
you always keep your friends close to your heart.
'cause who will help you if you're falling down.

and everything is o.k.

Happy Valentines Day everyone

Shawn

Picture of the night: VEND-A-LOBSTER!

2006, So far so...

Good, actually.

How've you been? Sure I have been slagging recently and for good reason. I am actually somewhat busy these days. In additon to working for the bank, ive decided to go back to college so I am taking 2 classes for now. I figured what the fuck, if i do end up doing my 4 year, ill need these two classes anyways. Other than that, I got another job as well. I am now writing for sports and leisure magazine. Check us out at http://www.sportsandleisuremag.com I am handling some local high school and college sports. The beauty of it all is that i actually get to write for a paper that is available at 2,500 locations in the area and has over 55,000 readers each month. I even get paid per story, which is neat. Hell, i'd prolly do it for free for the experience but if they wanna pay me, im totally game. So yeah, thats how i am busy.

Lets update you since we last chatted. Here are my top 12 New Years moments. (As you can see i changed my picture. That is me, beaner and beck from New Years Morning. Yes, thats a beer in my hand, and no... i didnt drink it).

12) Live Drunken NYE Karaoke
11) Seeing Age (pronounced as o-gie) who was visiting from Norway and him still being pissed that i called him a German in gym class five years ago when we were kicking field goals.
10) Me drinking shots as the chick was pouring them
9) Me kissing jeff's uncle on his bald head on a bet
8) Watching Marky barf as i walk in the door to his house
7) Seeing Judith TOTALLY obliterated
6) Talking to Chapnutz at 4 am
5) Hanging out with Jeff K all day and getting blitz'd with him
4) Jeff and I trying to throw a snowball at this goddamn sign outside of the DP and finally hitting it.
3) Me being really thirsty when i got home and thinking to myself as i find some iced tea.... im the man
2) Me getting Beck to drink a bottle of eggo syrup, then wear the bottle as a fucking necklace like Flava Flav!
1) Being drunk by 10pm and sober by 12:30am

So i fufilled one of my life goals a few weeks back. I always wanted to own a goddamn wrestling arcade game, so i actually went out and bought one. On NYE Jeff K and i stopped at this ghetto video game place and there it was. WWF Superstars. I was in shock and awe and called the guy selling it. I jew'd him down to 100 bucks somehow and Jason and I picked that shit up and put it in his basement. We beat it only because we have unlimited credits. Shit, if we had to use real quarters instead of tripping the free credit button, we woulda been out about 40 bucks. That game is tough. In the end though randy savage and big boss man defeated the million dollar man and andre the giant to win the titles! Man i love this game and am happy i bought it.

Last weekend I got loaded with erik and lightbain. We had a real good time and we played What the Fuck, with Jen (via telephone) which was hilarious, since the game is based on asking a question and everyone trying to guess what that person gave as an answer. If they got the answer wrong, you have so many drinks. Needless to say it was fun since erik and gruben dont know Jen from a hole in the ground. She probably thought we were retarded, but she is cool like that, so it doesnt matter.

Celebrated my Grandparents 45th anniversary last weekend with a suprise party. They seemed really happy that everyone showed up. I like hanging out with them and my grandpa is a freakin riot. Got to see the peanut too. That kid is freaking smart and hilarious. When i holler at her i go... AH AH AH really loud, so she turns around gets upset and puts her little arms in the air and mumbles "what did i do?" in her baby mumbling talk. I couldnt be a godfather to a cooler kid if i tried.

So listen to this fiasco. I am still at home and my stepfather hates my guts and i wish he'd die of cancer. He is all pissed cause i refuse to pay rent and get away with it. He is an unemployed (for like 12 years) piece of shit and i refuse to carry his burden. So as a punishment he doesnt treat me like a human. So i cant do my laundry here anymore because he took the knob off the washer (which has no purpose cause itll work anyways), and he turned off the water to it (which i could easily turn back on but dont based on principle). Anyways he left one day and i fucking MANUALLY FILLED the washing machine so it tripped the water line activator so i washed my shit anyways. I put my shit in the dryer, and he turned off the gas for it, so if i did use it they wouldnt dry. Again, i know how to turn the fucking gas on so it really had no point. Anyways, i let my shit spin in there knowing it wasnt drying. I planned on taking it to a laundrymat before work anyways to dry. So he comes home and is like "what are you doing with the dryer, the gas isnt on". I go.... wasting your electricity! He got pretty pissed after that, so i just told him that he is a fucking idiot and left it at that.

This week he saw that i was going to try to cook some chicken for dinner so he turned off the gas to the stove. NICE i think to myself as i wrote a note telling him to get a job. Needless to say his coffee pot somehow ended up broken the next morning. I dont rememberanybody cleverly stabbing the cord with a knife so that you couldnt tell it was done. Honest!

So whats coming up?

Well my birthday is in February and i spose that will be good. But honestly, im not sure what lays ahead. So far though, i am actually pretty content at the moment which is a good thing.

I guess ill leave you all with that, here is your random shit.

Movie of the night: Predator - which i got at walmart the other night with predator 2 for 10 bucks on dvd! Predator is the greatness.

Quote of the night: "We are taught by every person we meet." - Fortune Cookie

Song Lyrics of the night: "You're Beautiful" - James Blunt
Got this album from the internet today and its really good for being soft. Ask me for a copy or something.

"You're Beautiful"

My life is brilliant.

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Fucking high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

Leave a comment and for the love of everything that is holy...
Take care of one another.

Stew

Picture of the night... Yeah I own it!